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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Is he likely to get 50/50

1 reply

lobster8 · 06/01/2021 17:25

I'm going to try and keep this brief... STBX, split up nearly 2 years a go, EA relationship although he would deny this. One DD now aged 4. He has her 2.5 days a week (picks her up from school on a Monday, brings her back first thing Thursday morning). This was his choice as his days off are Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't think it was the best plan but due to pressure at the time agreed.

I strongly suspect there is an element of parental alienation going on towards me, which is intensified when she is not at school and therefore has more time with him. However I appreciate this would be really hard to prove. I am trying to severe my situation with him (buy him out of house and divorce) although currently difficult with repeated lockdowns.

When we split he agreed to rent somewhere and I would pay mortgage and stay in house until I brought him out. He was happy with this plan. Instead he has lived all this time in a caravan in his parents garden. I strongly suspect he is smoking weed as he did every evening during our relationship, and drinking in excess in the evenings (again based on our relationship). His father also spent his days smoking weed in his house, which I would highly doubt has changed. Obviously this is all speculation as he won't communicate with me and I don't know what goes on his end. dD has made a few comments that suggest she is aware of cannabis however e.g when out walking there was a strong smell of weed coming from a house and she said it smelt 'smokey'.

He is always pushing for more time with DD which I don't think is in her best interests given my above concerns. I now want to put in a claim for child maintenance which I imagine will not go down well and I am anticipating his response will be to request more time with her to make it 50/50.

I think ultimately it would be best to go down the mediation or court route so we have something formally drawn up but I imagine these services aren't running in lockdown. However I am partly fearful he will get her 50% of the time which I truly believe will not be in her best interests and will result in her becoming further alienated from me too. How likely would it be, given his living arrangements that he would get more access?

OP posts:
bookishtartlet · 07/01/2021 19:57

No advice but bumping for you. Get a solicitor ASAP. My stbx wants 5050 and I too don't think its in best interests as he didn't share parenting whilst here, one of the many reasons we split up! I foresee a long and messy court process for us unfortunately.

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