Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Please help - ca he take my house

34 replies

Oldname · 04/01/2021 21:22

I bought my house two years ago, in my name only. He has a house in his name which he's had for years - in negative equity apparently.
We married four months ago but quickly the relationship broke down. I made him leave and now he's going after my house.
I live here with my children who are 4 and 7
He also wants kitchen goods that he paid for and towards - even though he didn't bring any to the house and used mine until they broke and needed replacement.
I just want him to go back to having his house and belongings which he had before we married, and I keep my house and belongings.
Will it work like that?
Also should I expect a solicitor letter soon and what will they want?
Any help appreciated - I'm in a financial hole being a single parent and can't afford to replace everything if he's allowed to take it or sell it

OP posts:
Unreasonabubble · 04/01/2021 21:47

I did not want this to go unanswered so bumping it for you. I am sure there will be a wise person who knows the law and I think it will be along the lines that your Spouse would not automatically be entitled to half your house if your marriage was so short.

Phoenix76 · 04/01/2021 22:47

Also bumping for you.

Completely irrelevant but have you checked zoopla to check his house value? I would be seeking legal advice also. My instinct says he won’t have a claim but I’m not an expert.

Good luck

RandomMess · 04/01/2021 22:56

Unlikely as it's a very short relationship & marriage and you have children to house including one of his.

Please see a solicitor ASAP

RandomMess · 04/01/2021 22:58

Oops not sure why I thought you were pregnant!

He is trying to bully you. It's a very very short marriage even if you include any time you co-habited directly prior to marriage.

He has a home of his own so isn't homeless.

Does he have a pension? Because that would be a marital asset too...

partyatthepalace · 04/01/2021 23:02

I don’t think so. But the main thing is to take the initiative and see a solicitor right now, you don’t want to be waiting for a letter from his - take control.

I think he is bullying you in the hope he can grab something whether entitled to or not. Stand up to him.

weathervane1 · 04/01/2021 23:09

It was your house before you got married. Equally he has his own. You also have children which take massive priority with the courts. Not only will he not have a claim on your house, he will be lucky not to have to pay a bit toward the children for a period - they aren't his but they become "children of the family" depending on the judge and it may be that a period of financial easement is called for (he pays you). In reality, you will most likely both walk away with pretty much what you started with. Issues like who paid for what kitchen appliances, units, Lino flooring etc have zero sway with judges. They just are not interested in examining such things in this level of detail. Get yourself a solicitor, don't let them charge you for every letter opened or sent - you can actually do it all on your own if your head gets in s good place - and try to avoid court if possible as it's mostly a waste of time after such a short marriage. Separate, set up a financial settlement which sets out how you won't screw each other over and then get divorced and move on. Or go to court, pay large legal fees for mostly bugger all value and skill and arrive at the same point. I speak from experience. It's a sad fact about divorce that people who once loved each other so much, can set out to hurt you the most whilst often (fortunately) not being able to carry through on their threats - that's why the law is as it is; it acknowledges that people lash out and try to go to silly extremes and ultimately fail.

Viviennemary · 04/01/2021 23:13

I doubt he will havd a claim on your house after such a very short time married. In any case he has a house of his own. Get legal advice.

Original poster
Oldname · 05/01/2021 07:24

Thank you all for the advice, it's very reassuring. I'll seek legal advice ASAP

OP posts:
Original poster
Oldname · 05/01/2021 07:24

Thank you all for the advice, it's very reassuring. I'll seek legal advice ASAP

OP posts:
pointythings · 06/01/2021 11:49

I would think after such a short marriage you will both just walk away with what you came in with, so your house should not be at risk.

3u33y · 06/01/2021 11:53

I don’t believe that any judge would uphold a claim on your house when he has a house of his own and u have only been married for 4 months. However the cost of u getting a good solicitor and going to court if he does claim on it will be high so just be prepared for an expensive time. My ex hb was a nightmare in our divorce and dragged it out questioning every last detail and it just went on and on and was really expensive.
I’m so sorry you are going through this op. It’s hard but you are strong too and you will get through this and be rid of him.

Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool · 06/01/2021 11:59

Imo you need a few burly blokes and get him out...

Cheesecake53 · 06/01/2021 12:05

Hi OP, be happy that he showed himself after four months and not four years and possibly another child together, but I understand that this is stressful.

As others have said, I also believe he bullies you and cannot see that he has any claim to your house.

I did my divorce mostly myself. I downloaded the forms and filled them in. Because we had children together, there had to be a "consent order" which had to be done my a solicitor. I got it for around ₤ 300 and it explained maintenance and visiting rights etc.

I hope that you can file for divorce quickly - my ex did not want to be divorced and I had to wait five years.

Cheesecake53 · 06/01/2021 12:07

Maybe you can do a "quicky divorce"?

BabyMoonPie · 06/01/2021 12:08

You need legal advice. Depending on where you live you might not be able can't get divorced yet (in England and Wales you need to have been married a year)

Bluntness100 · 06/01/2021 12:09

No of course not. You split fifty fifty what came into the marriage after the marriage, which after four months will be very little

He’s just fucking with you.

growinggreyer · 06/01/2021 12:09

Can you get the marriage annulled? It would be worth asking the solicitor about this for such a short marriage eg do you feel he married you under false pretences.

UsernameSaved · 06/01/2021 12:36

@Bluntness100

No of course not. You split fifty fifty what came into the marriage after the marriage, which after four months will be very little

He’s just fucking with you.

You dont split 50/50 what came into a marriage after the marriage.
Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool · 06/01/2021 15:02

Remind him you can go after half of his house and pension also...

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 06/01/2021 15:14

In what way is he 'going after the house'?

Sending furious messages telling you he has rights to it?

Ignore them. And do not discuss anything about your house or finances with him.

Find a divorce lawyer and make an appointment as soon as possible. Get your rights established, get your legal separation established and that he no longer lives at the address. Claim single Council Tax discount, get his name off bills.

How long did he live in the house for before he moved in?

3u33y · 06/01/2021 17:31

How long did he live in the house before he moved in?

Well when he lived in the house when he moved in I assume

Bluntness100 · 06/01/2021 18:22

You dont split 50/50 what came into a marriage after the marriage

Sigh, there is always one.

It’s the starting point. And as it’s four months, it’s likely the end point at well.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 06/01/2021 19:09

Sorry - how long did he live in the house before your married?

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 06/01/2021 19:18

I hope your mind is put at rest, Op, in that you owned the house, it was a very short marriage, and you have children to house.

This website might also help divorce.wikivorce.com/divorce-calculator/divorce-calculation-method.html

(It is a website signposted from the Gov.UK pages about divorce so legit)

But do go and see a solicitor asap and get control.

wrt the kitchen equipment, what sort of thing is he talking about? Pots and pans? The Oven and fridge freezer?

Dramalady52 · 06/01/2021 20:00

Many solicitors give a free half hour of advice, see if you can speak to one of them, also very few houses in UK in negative equity these days especially if he has had it a while. As pps have said, its a short marriage so basically you both go out with what you came in with.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.