I am considering leaving my controlling, narcissistic, neglectful and emotionally abusive DH of 20 years. I've had to seek help recently from my councellor who tried to do some marriage work with us last year (DH stopped going, didn't like what he was hearing). Councellor now suggests that I press the stop button on DH's abusive behaviour by at least separating. I myself really want to break this sick vicious circle of abuse, gaslighting, silent treatment towards both me and our 16 year old boy (he is guilty of standing up for me) that lasts for weeks until DH decides he is ready to offer a half hearted sorry and then carry on in exactly the same way. I have had enough of living my life constantly traumatised and hopeless - DH is adamant he won't change and councellor says he won't for all the time I play along his twisted rules of conduct. I don't believe in half measures, so if I brave myself it'll probably be to file for divorce. However - knowing how manipulative DH can be - am afraid that he might get such a shock of me trying to break away that might change tactic and try persuade me not to divorce post factum. So my question is - has anyone been in a similar situation and even changed their mind, withdraw application etc.? And did the marriage last / survive? I do understand everyone's situation is very personal. Thank you in advance! And a very Happy New 2021, no matter how it might have started for you!