Long term poster but name changed for this thread.
Very similar unfortunately to a lot of posters on this thread. 
Married 17 years nearly.
We've had ups and downs over the years.
It's recently twigged after a few years of frustration on my part that it's not me that's changed,although I have got a lot more confident in my own mind with what I want from life as I'm getting older and the dc are growing up but my dh has changed or maybe I never really saw it before as life was so busy.
I don't feel wanted. I don't feel a priority in dh life.
His drinking and lack of self control around it will make him I'll if he carries on along with the amount he smokes (currently has a chest infection and laryngitis)
He makes all the right noises when we talk about it but never actually does anything about it.
It's getting more frequent on a weekend now that Hel be so knackered as he does work so many hours but also volunteers for overtime ,but he literally spends the weekend with no energy,staying in bed till the afternoon and then getting up for a few hours before going back to bed again ready for a really early work start.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I'm doing all the parenting looking after the pets all the household shit because I'm currently on furlough but it dawned on me earlier that he just takes no responsibility for his part in this family at all at the minute.
He says he's stressed because his job is manic which I understand but it's been going on for years.
Hel say he's looking for another job but never follows through with it.
He was in bed by 9.30 pm on New Year's Eve because he was on call from 4 am New Years morning ,like he was New Year's Eve morning and most Sunday mornings.
The money doesn't go into our household pot so it's not as if we see the benefit of never seeing him or me doing the lions share of life.
Due to feeling ill he's been in bed all day literally just coming down every now and then which is fair enough but he came down earlier and moaned he's now bored because he's lying bed awake now.
I just commented he could come sit with me downstairs and he poo pooed the idea and said it was boring with nothing to do 
I've just told him yet again he's made me feel shit and I'm upset that I've had to spend yet another weekend day down here doing stuff on my own yet my companies not good enough for him.
What a wanker
I made him a meal for tea that he hasn't eaten because he feels unwell and his uniforms been washed dried and ironed ready for work on Monday and I just feel like a mug right now
We had a conversation in the car the other day on a rare occasion we had no dc with us and I told him his drinking it's getting ridiculous and it's not something I want in my life long term as we've had issues with addictive behaviours for years and I've always supported him and had his back but I've made it clear I won't again so I've stopped mentioning it now and told him that if it continues and the work life imbalance continues il just up and end it at some point and as always he made the right noises but that was it.
He shows no interest anymore in me whatsoever intimately and doesn't try to make the effort if I mention it.
Sorry for the long post. I had my lightbulb moment a while ago but thanks to Covid and my finances taking a dip I need to get back to better earnings to build a safety net up.
I'm just sick of always supporting and doing for him but it never being reciprocated.