Buying a house without divorcing

[Fifi86x]

My partner is still married. We are pretty sure if he files for divorce the ex wife is going to make it difficult- they have no assets, they split their debts and There’s a child arrangement order in place (which is of course all for the mother 🙄)

We want to buy a house next year, but my worry is if we buy whilst he’s still married is she then entitled to our house? He is putting down no deposit, I will be selling my house so will be putting down about £45k (separate contract drawn up for that)

Any advice with the above?

Can she just refuse to divorce him?
Could she take half our house?

Thank you! Merry Christmas xxx

@Fifi86x I think he needs to start divorce proceedings as soon as he can. The court application is only about £250 and you don’t need a solicitor for that part but I do recommend one for the consent order to organise the finances. If she doesn’t acknowledge the divorce papers you can hire a private investigator to track her down and serve the papers, it costs about £100 and if she still doesn’t respond you can carry on without her.

If you need to buy the house before the divorce then buy as tenants in common and have a trust deed drawn up stating if the house is sold you receive all your money back. This means it won’t be classed as an asset in your dp’s divorce. They will take into consideration that he lives with you though and therefore may require less money from the divorce. Remember if you buy as tenants in common you need to draw up a will if you want to leave the house to each other because If you don’t their half will go to the next of kin. Once you’re married your will may be invalid so remember to update it if needed . Or you could change it back to joint tenants once the divorce is over.

@Fifi86x you should do child maintenance through CMA, whether it suits her or not. It will cover your dp and have no come back if things get nastier down the road

Ladies any idea how to close the thread? To be honest the whole thing is now making me anxious.

It seems very black and white for some people “he needs to get divorced” “don’t buy a house”

As I’ve explained above- He will be getting divorced but needed to save up some money after the solicitor ripped his eyes out on the child arrangement order.

I have no choice but to move because living in a two bed with 4 people is too much plus I have the neighbours from HELL so staying isn’t an option.

I appreciate everyone’s opinions. I’m 36, I’m not a teenager in love I do understand I have to protect my money and I will.

If she refuses to divorce it’s a 5year jobby. But I refuse to let this woman have any control over our lives anymore. She means absolutely nothing to him and is not worth the stress or anxiety of anyone.

Thank you all for your comments, Have a lovely ( Quiet Christmas xxx

I think everyone was just trying to give you advice. You seem set that he can’t get divorced for 5 years but that isn’t the case. In this day and age no one has to stay married if they don’t want to. I understand he needs to save some money but getting a few hundred pounds from somewhere must be a better option than staying married for several more years .

If he doesn’t initiate a divorce she is also the next of kin if anything happened to him. Good luck.

I think you should chat to a solicitor. I thought once you'd separated then you couldn't be liable for each others debts after that. If not on a joint credit card/bank account.
If he's paying maintenance and it labels it child maintenence when it transfers to her account then he's fine. If he gives her cash he should rethink. Child maintenance does not count as income for universal credit purposes. Although spousal maintenance does. If her career had been set back by not working to look after kids then he should have been looking at a couple of years spousal at most.
Get him to do application now - and see how her initial response is. She has to reply within weeks. If she challenges it then you'll know where you stand.
I know a lovely solicitor who gave me nearly an hour of free, bloody useful advice. You need to know what of yours she could claim if you held all the equity in the new house (ie your deposit) but you were both on mortgage. So he'd only have a debt.
Good luck with it all. You could also sell and rent. Stress of nasty neighbours is so hard to deal with

OP you may wish to ask to have your last post taken down as it is a different user name

I bought without getting divorced. I did a lot of research and most things say if he doesn't pay a penny towards it, his name isn't on the deeds or mortgage and he doesn't live here a judge will most likely throw any claim he tried out. We split the money from our marital home 50/50 he spent his going travelling I bought a flat. We didn't have children so it was quite an easy split.

@Fiona2020,

In case you see this...divorce ends the marriage and a consent order ends the financial commitments for both parties.

So it is very important you get a consent order in place as if there are children he is still potentially liable, especially if his finances change positively she has the opportunity to apply for further money.

A private arrangement isn't about hiding money or not declaring as most benefits do not take CMS into account as it's money for the children.

Just be careful that you are jumping from a good financial situation into something that puts you at risk.
Many women jump through hoops for a man...have your eyes wide open. He was once in love with his wife. If they have never managed to build any assets and get into debt then that is part of his personality, don't just blame her....people rarely change.