Hi all
Currently going through a divorce. Separated in March but he didn't move out until ve day. During that time I spent every evening shut in the box room once children were in bed.
It was me that called time on the relationship, it had been unhappy for 5 years and since we split I have realised how emotionally abusive and controlling he was.
I couldn't stay in the marriage, not only for me but also for my two daughters. I don't want them to see that behaviour as normal.
Since moving out he has transferred 37.5k out of our joint account, refused to discuss a financial settlement which doesn't involve me buying him out of the property, handing over half of my pension, taking all refunds from cancelled holidays etc. He has also not paid a penny in child maintenance and undervalued shares in his family business, and not fully disclosed his financial situation.
Due to not being able to have a sensible discussion about splitting finances I have involved my divorce lawyer in processing the financial aspects.
His financial disclosure was incomplete and caused her to list a full page of queries as most transactions were hidden via PayPal forgetting a very expensive watch, cash etc. The only thing showing was tinder and live porn.
My financial disclosure was complete, I had some weekends away with friends. He is convinced that weekends away have been romantic and that I have been having an affair. This is on the basis of a bank transfer for a work Christmas do booking.
He has repeatedly accused me of cheating (with two children and working full time how would I get the time or the inclination). I have not and never would have an affair.
He also has a new partner, has introduced our children to hers very early on which has impacted on my eldest.
Yesterday I received an email saying that his parents no longer want anything to do with me due to my behaviour over the last few weeks and months...and I am at a loss as to what I have done. The email came from him so I sent it on to them both to say if that is what they want I respect that but wanted to check first. His mum called me and said it was too hard, she didn't want to go into the details so I don't actually know what he has said, and confirmed I am to back off.
I am gutted and floored, we have known each other for 19 years, they should know me better. I get they support their son.
The only thing I can think of is the fact that I have had to resort to official channels for child maintenance and to get finances sorted. The only thing I want is for my children to not have to move, no more no less. I think I am being portrayed as a gold digge.
He still has regular access to the children which has been fully disclosed to the cms. He has apparently put in a counter claim....
Also my dad today has to self isolate until after Christmas and it is the first one without the children.
Today has been awful, I can't stop crying. I am worried at what has been said about me, I want this all done quickly, to the point I let him file for divorce.
I am devastated, and feel so betrayed. Has anyone had this kind of experience? Everyone i talk to including my friends who tell me if I am being a duck, can't see what I have done wrong apart from leave. I think I have not cried for a total of 2 hours since last night. I'm just hoping for an end t all of this now, I need to be happy with my children