Hi MNers
Stuck in the divorce from hell. STBXH did all the grubby things men do- depleted assets, liquidated investments, shredded paperwork, swapped extremely well paid career for part time earning well below our outgoings. He executed his plan over years and I was unaware.
I've been a SAHM for 24 yrs with part time work for brief periods. Two just post DCs both made redundant due to Covid. Youngest DC has a chronic medical condition and care was suspended during the pandemic- only just restarting now- and is now dependent on me for everything due to deterioration(in a wheelchair, horrible side effects from meds). I never managed to build a career because DC3's condition was so unstable. DC3 had to defer uni the autumn and it's looking doubtful even then and even with adapted room. I'll still need to collect and bring home for medical appointments at least twice a week.
DC3's care is handled by 6 different medical specialists at 3 different hospitals (it's a rare disease ) and coordinated by our brilliant GP and adult social care team. who adapted our house.
It is really important to me to house the DCs until they are independent. STBXH doesn't give a sh*t about them and they've got the message loud and clear. It's one of the most expensive places in the country to live and a 50/50 split would leave me completely unable to stay in the area. This is a desperate situation because DC3's care is so complicated and social care waiting lists in surrounding areas are 6-8 months. Finding a property that can be adapted is hard enough but I'd have to pay out of pocket for all of it because of the wait.
Has anyone had disabled adult kids taken into account?
Has anyone had the demands of care taken into account?
He won't negotiate so probably headed to court. Anyone had a judge who gave them a better split in such a situation?
I would love to have a brilliant career but it's a long way off unless DC3 improves radically.
STBX just wants to get on with his shiny new life and I and the kids can get stuffed.