Want to divorce husband who doesn't work - would he get custody of kids and would I have to pay him child support .

[candycane2019]

Hi. I'm trying to decide if divorcing husband is worth it or if my life would be worse.

We have two DC (14 and 12)

He has been emotionally abusive on and off for years. I'm seeing a counsellor to help me to leave.

We have two properties - the family home and a flat which my husband sees as 'his'/his pension as he bought it almost 20 years ago. We rent both properties out and rent a cheaper house for ourselves (it's cheaper this way). We can't afford to sell just yet as we get a small income from renting out (this goes to my husband).

I have been the breadwinner for the last 10 years. My husband doesn't work - he is 'self employed' dabbles with creative work and earns next to nothing. But gets the rental income from the properties which are run as buy to lets.

We have a lot of debt - all on my name and which I have been paying off. Should take me 4 years to clear it all.

If I left him and stared divorce stuff what would happen? Would the kids be with him as I work and would I have to pay him child support and spousal maintenance? Also what about our debts?. And the properties?

Any advice would be great.

Thank you

From what I understand of the process it will always start at 50/50. The rent will be seen as income for your husband (or both of you depending on how it is set up)

All assets including pensions, property, savings, shares etc will be declared and split 50/50 depending on circumstance. If there is a big difference between your earnings and your husbands this may go in his favour slightly for example 60/40 split.

It will be assessed on needs of both parents.

Regarding childcare this will be the same 50/50 split of childcare arrangements.

Hope this helps slightly. The best thing to do is have a free consultation with a solicitor to help you discuss your individual case

Don't forget you hand half the debts to your husband as they are marital debts.

I think at 12 and 14 who will probably be 13 and 15 by the time divorce proceedings reach court they will be allowed to decide for themselves who to live with.

Whats your gut feeling on this? Do you think they would rather stay with you because to be honest, if they themselves say that they want to live with their dad there is not a lot you can do.

He's abusive. It's better for you and the children not to be living in an abusive home. For the children, infinitely better.

Has he threatened that if you leave he'll take the children?

Have you taken advice from Women's Aid? Rights of Women? A solicitor?

Given the history of abuse, I'd probably start by talking to Women's Aid and take it from there.

Re the finances need more information such as equity, pensions, savings, earnings etc etc. Spousal support not payable anymore unless 1. you are a high earner and 2. your partner needs a bit of support/retraining to get back into the employment market - as he has only worked small hours and relies on his investments for income he can continue doing this when divorced can't he?