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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

A year later

15 replies

singlemumagain · 24/11/2020 22:21

Omg I used to post on here a lot a year ago, I was just in a toxic situation and a picture came up from exactly a year ago of nothing in particular but I just remember that horrid, anxious, painful feeling at that time. My teenage step daughters hated me and they had all gone out because they couldn't stand to be around me. My ex husband would take them out invite all his family all be posted on social media, people commenting what a lovely family etc, I would pretend I was ok about it and smile and ask if they had a good time. They wouldn't eat anything I cooked, refused to go on holiday or the Xmas panto if I was there, so I didn't go. My dcs were upset as we were basically pushed out. I cried in car parks on my own, I stayed in hotels friends houses, with my dcs. No one ever asked how my children were it was awful.

Anyway a year later and I've just bought my own house, away from all that, my dcs are a lot happier even just for seeing me happier. I've actually stopped crying now too, but I still look back and think what the hell!! Why didn't he stand up for me, what had I done so wrong! But you know I don't think he thought I would actually move on and be independent and not need him and most of all not put up with all that. I'm actually really proud of myself, I was a mess this time last year but still hoped he would want me and try and save our marriage but he didn't and I hear they have left anyway to live with their mum and he is on his own. Me and my kids are close and happy we've done it and that awful worthless feeling has gone. No one will treat me like that again!!

OP posts:
Chloe797 · 24/11/2020 22:46

😎👏👏👏👏👏❤👌

BaskingMad · 24/11/2020 23:40

Well done. You had the courage to get out if the toxicity.👊🏻👊🏻
I hope i can write a happy ‘one year on’ post too some day:)

Tiddleypops · 25/11/2020 05:41

Wonderful op 👏💖

Takeitonthechin · 25/11/2020 06:59

Oh well done OP, you and your children deserve to be happy 💐🌺🌸🌼🌻

singlemumagain · 25/11/2020 08:32

Don't get me wrong it still hurts, I'm still healing and still feel let down all those feelings, I suppose I'm just looking back and think actually I've come a long way and want to give others hope that those awful feelings you once had do fade x

OP posts:
Dragongirl10 · 25/11/2020 08:34

Well done op, focus on building your relationship with your dcs and enjoy!

noideawhatusernametochoose · 25/11/2020 11:40

Good for you - it sounds like you have escaped a nightmare situation and have completely turned it around.

Bence69 · 25/11/2020 14:19

Bloody amazing well done you 😘

Alys20 · 25/11/2020 18:43

Awesome. Well done OP, hope you have a fab new year. Going through a horrible experience myself with a horrible person, I hope to write a Year from Now post this time next year. 🙏👍

singlemumagain · 25/11/2020 20:14

@Alys20 I really feel for you, it's the worst feeling in the world. I actually thought I was in a nightmare! You don't think you will but you do get through it and I have no family near by either x

OP posts:
Fantasisa · 26/11/2020 10:08

As someone only at the beginning of separation, I love these threads! I'm so pleased for you, OP.

Parkermumma07 · 26/11/2020 10:12

Well done, it can’t have been easy but you did it that takes courage. I wish you and your children all the best and hope that things continue to be on the up ( I’d sure they will )

singlemumagain · 26/11/2020 12:25

@Fantasisa ohh it's horrible were you are now, your in shock and if you are like me I was just in tears a lot, but I needed to do it. I'm still in shock tbh, can't believe what happened but somehow the pain does ease and you don't miss them as much xxx

OP posts:
Fantasisa · 26/11/2020 12:33

I am in total shock even though deep down I think it is the right decision. At the moment I wake up feeling like a breeze block is on my chest.

We've told the DC and we are trying to work out the logistics of what happens next. I am grieving for the life we had and the future I thought we'd have.

I also have a now adult DSD and it was very challenging juggling her needs and our needs when she was younger so I know a little of what you have faced.

I am just hoping that if I could fast forward a year that I will feel content.

Lardlizard · 29/11/2020 08:14

Bloody well done op 🍸

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