Is there any hope for me?

[9925dum2007-05-23 10:27:14]

My husband of 20 years recently announced that he has been unhappy for years, our marriage has run it's course and he want to separate. We've been drifting apart for years, he works away a lot. There is no-one else involved but I am totally devastated and broken hearted. I am in my 50's and although it's very early in the day to think about moving on I know I don't want to be on my own for the rest of my life. It seems that women over 50 are just left sitting on the scrapheap and that makes me feel absolutely terrified. Has anyone this age on here managed to find a new relationship, I really want to think that there still exists some form of hope for me once I am ready to move on?
Thank you.

What kind of life do you have outside of the marriage? Do you work, have children, have hobbies, caring commitments? A starting point would be to build on the other parts of your life that provide a solid foundation.
Sounds like it's been a huge shock OP, stay strong

You're still young yet! Get rid of the dead weight (him), have a good cry and then start planning a future for YOU

This thread may help

Thanks but the OLD scene looks bloody awful for an old bird like me. Looks like I'll need to adopt a lot of cats

@sunsalutations

What kind of life do you have outside of the marriage? Do you work, have children, have hobbies, caring commitments? A starting point would be to build on the other parts of your life that provide a solid foundation. Sounds like it's been a huge shock OP, stay strong

I'm lucky to have a lot of hobbies and a great network of amazing friends - let's hope one of them knows a decent single guy because online dating looks like a highway to misery

Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. Just live your life and sooner or later you'll run into someone while you're shopping for Vegies or whatever. It's actually called The Art of The Static Quest. As in, just do nothing. Life, uh, finds a way.

Hi op

How are you doing?

OP I feel exactly the same. So sorry your husband has landed this on you, it must have been a horrible shock. Mine says pretty much the same - the difference is he doesn’t seem to want to separate! He thinks we’ve drifted apart and it’s too late to regain any physical or emotional intimacy but ‘that’s just what happens in long marriages’. Er.. no, it’s not or it doesn’t have to be. Refuses to consider counselling or do anything to improve things - it’s like talking to a brick wall. I feel truly trapped and long to be apart from him but am scared, mainly for the reasons you’ve said. I don’t want to be alone forever but dating at 53 doesn’t sound much fun either. Positive stories gratefully received!

Of course there's hope for you! I promise you, at some point you will look back and the only regret you'll have is that you didn't throw him out sooner :D

I'm in a not dissimilar position, but a couple of years on from you. My STBEX has proved to be a complete twonk since he left, but I now realise that he always was a twonk, and he got increasingly worse and I stuck it out thinking I was doing the right thing for the kids. I now realise I was wrong.

I may never meet someone else but I'd rather be on my own than have to live with a twonk again.

I know plenty of people who've met wonderful people at our age or older. I'm sure there is someone out there who you will meet who will deserve you.

Thanks everyone. I'm still really low, heartbreak is so bloody painful. I have a large network of absolutely brilliant pals and they are wrapping me up in comfort and love. For that I am truly very grateful. Time will heal I guess...