H left me.. any practical advice?

[Rollercoasteride]

I posted nearly 12 months ago saying me and H were thinking of separating. That weekend DS was rushed into hospital, then it was Christmas, I had an operation, then covid struck.
We agreed to give it a go, make an effort etc. It went well until September, he got a new job and it all went down hill...he stopped trying, I couldn't even sit next to him!
Anyway he said last night he lost his feelings towards me, and was moving in with his parents.
DS was told and now he has gone. I still love H, but sick of craving affection, hoping he would throw me a few crumbs.
So where do I start from here? Together for nearly 20 years, married for 12.
I can't afford to buy him out, but looking at the maintenance calculator, if he pays me the right amount of maintenance I can afford to live here.
Luckily we have a rental property, which is a 2 bed, which has a low mortgage. I guess he will eventually move there.
I don't know where to start? All our money is joint
And what about his time with DS? His folks are vulnerable, so DS can't stay there...they also live 20miles away. What is reasonable? H reckons he will be doing lots of school runs etc, but I can't see it being substanable. I have no problem with DS seeing H, but I think H thinks he will be able to pop round when he likes.
Arghh such a mess

How old is your child?
He’s the priority in terms of stability- his age will help determine appropriate schedules between both parents

Next, money. Do you work ? What joint assets do you have? What would you need to secure suitable housing ?

In the near term , you may have to accommodate your ex coming to the house to see your dine if he has nowhere else to go

See a solicitor and they will be able to guide you

@millymollymoomoo thanks for your reply DS is 10.
Yes I do work PT earn about 23k a year, H earns 40k.
As assests go we have our family home with 30k equity (10k deposit from me) and a flat with 5k equity.
H has employe shares and pension, I also have a pension.
I don't mine H coming round to see DS, but every day will be too much for everyone

Ok with that salary it’s very unlikely spousal maintenance will come into play
In order to stay in the house you’ll need to not only demonstrate you can afford to buy also a mortgage company will let you in single name. Look at values of all assets as you may be able to trade off pensions or other house etc. Can you go back full time?

Every day visits will be too much but I think you need to think about immediate options plus longer term. Perhaps one evening for tea and one weekend day currently ? What will be the longer term arrangements ? Think about what is best for your son and what in practice could work

Meant to stay demonstrate you can afford to pay

A popular decision by the courts is for H to have one night in the week, wednesday pick up from school then drop off next morning, and every other weekend. If you agree then its easier obvs. I think routine and structure is important for kids. Having a boundary over who lives in which home, and which is a visitor is important. I gave my ex our tv after a while, but my little one was furious that he had the tv!