Please help I'm devastated

[louiselouisetan]

Hey all,

So I'll make this as short as possible.

I broke up with my ex 4 years ago(whom I have 2 children), I moved on quiet quickly which was very unwise. I met a man who was very eager for a relationship whom I liked but perhaps wasn't ready.

5 months in I fell pregnant which I wasn't going to keep but I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion.

I have my children every other week me and my ex have shared access but my was partner couldn't deal with it and would argue with me every time I had to collect them as he hated me around my ex and would give me such a hard time. It got to the point where I couldn't message him so I hid the messages (they were about my kids) he would find them and go mad about how I betrayed him etc.

He had been off with me for some time now so I asked him if he loved me to which he responded not anymore all the lies are too much he hated my family as they were friends with my ex (were way before I even met my ex) and was just absolutely vile about them how he wishes they were dead etc I just got my older children bunged them in the car and took them there dads they didn't need to see this.

He got our child and left with him and will not let me see him he's 4 months old he has told me I'm a scum and will never see our child I'll have to go court how he doesn't want his child around a lying piece of shit like me and they deserve better.

I've begged and begged to see him I'm distraught I just can't cope it's ripped my heart out he's so young to be without me I do everything with him I can't even bring myself to go to my house because my sons belongings are there it's so hard I now have to take him to court but who knows how long this will take? It's such a precious time in my sons life and I'm going to miss it all

Any advice please someone I'm going out my mind thank you

How are things OP?

How do I fill in the form? Like what kind of order is it? So sorry I've never done anything like this before

Op,do you have any family to support you?

An emergency court order application is made to a family court where there is an element of risk or harm to a child. You need to complete the form C100 which is the same form used in child contact orders.

Have you looked up your local family court or tried to speak to a solicitor?

If you turn up at the courts, or call Women's Aid, they will advise you on the forms, etc.

@louiselouisetan

How do I fill in the form? Like what kind of order is it? So sorry I've never done anything like this before

Op, what have you done today? police? Women's Aid? You can fill the form in online if necessary or print it and fill it in. It's easy to do. Please tell me you called the police??

I linked the form and contact details for Women's Aid earlier

Is he on the Birth certificate? If he is the police are unlikely to assist you, especially at this time in the evening ( when the dad will say the baby is settled in bed)
Get on the phone to Women’s aid and get down the to court tomorrow to apply for a CAO and prohibited steps order.
And get ready for a fight.
If you know anything that might be a safeguarding concern you can also make a referral to children's services

@Familylawsolicitor
Yes he lived with us but not legally it's my house and my sons registered living here with me and on the birth certificate. My ex is on the birth certificate unfortunately but he is down as living with his parents.
I have him all the time when he's at work etc he has started making false allegations about me being a bad mum which is all completely untrue.

He will not let me see him anything atall and it's just destroying me I just don't know what I can do.

@Familylawsolicitor he mislead me and told me he was going to let me have him back the next day but then rang me being very abusive and said I will not see him atal now I'm just so so broken

@Familylawsolicitor
It was the day before yesterday I've called the police I've tried everything I just don't know what to do

[quote louiselouisetan]@Familylawsolicitor
It was the day before yesterday I've called the police I've tried everything I just don't know what to do [/quote]
OP, did you make the police aware that your child is only 16 weeks old and you are breastfeeding? At the very least I would have expected a welfare check. Have you also contacted social services and Women's Aid as I suggested yesterday (number up thread). I understand you're frightened and feel powerless, but you're not. There is a lot you can do. You can also get that application into court immediately.

@TheFormidableMrsC yes I have, it says on the form I need to apply for a mediator first?

@louiselouisetan No you don't, you're making an ex-parte emergency application (this means that the other party will not be informed of proceedings until they are summonsed, which is going to be very quickly). There is a box to tick for this. You do not need to apply for mediation, this is an emergency situation.

Please please ring Women's Aid this morning, they will be able to help you with this over the phone.

How did you get on today OP?

Hi @louiselouisetan

How are you doing? Any update?
I’m praying for you 💖

Just checking in...hope all ok 😕

@TheFormidableMrsC I'm having trouble proving the abuse, because I didn't tell my gp they won't sign anything to verify I was a victim of coercive control I'm really struggling what to do here is there any other way around it?

I'm not doing to good tbh he keeps asking to meet up to talk about how sad he is but will not let me have the children he's just trying to mess with my head and unfortunately he's succeeding I can't even go in my house because my children's stuff is there and it breaks my heart 😢

Hi lovely, why do you need to prove the abuse? This is an emergency ex-parte application because your ex has failed to return. Have you rung Women's Aid? PLEASE RING THEM!!!!!

@TheFormidableMrsC I can't find there number only there online chat but it won't connect I keep trying and trying I'm just devastated

@louiselouisetan I have checked and see that the helpline number is currently not available. Please continue to try and connect to the chat or send them an email. You could also try the single parents organisation Gingerbread.

If you are on any benefits, you will not have to pay any court fees. Please get that application in. If you are struggling to fill it in, then please go to your nearest court and ask for assistance. There is such a lot you can do here. Have you called the police again and asked for a welfare check? You really do need to be proactive here although I know how difficult this is. This has happened to me although my child was older and my ex saw sense in the end.

@Familylawsolicitor can you help?