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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Has anyone been ordered to sell them home? With 2 young kids?!

31 replies

charrowell · 03/11/2020 17:16

I just wondered if anyone has been through the family court (financial settlement) and came out a lot worse than you thought you would?

I am a mum of 2 kids under 10, living in the jointly mortgaged home and I am petrified that the court will order the house be sold as my ex does not have enough money to rent as well as contributing towards the mortgage. We both pay in half but if he continues there's no way he can rent somewhere of his own. He is living with his mum currently and paying no rent, I assume the judge will not feel this is fair as a long term living arrangement but I cannot currently afford to take on the mortgage myself.

I have been assuming that no court would make children leave their home if they are settled and happy but lately Im not so sure. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
Covidasaurus · 03/11/2020 17:18

At the end of the day it all has to be affordable. You need to speak to a solicitor. Do you work? Have you found out what mortgage you can afford on your own?

1stV45 · 03/11/2020 17:19

How do you expect to make it work?

Rockpapershoot · 03/11/2020 17:27

If he doesn't have enough money to rent then you'll likely have to sell the house and downsize. They won't expect him to live at his mothers for 10 years and carry on paying your mortgage. Have you been on the CMS calculator? That's what you're likely to get per month. You could end up with a bigger slice of the capital after the house is sold but it's not guaranteed. You really need a solicitor OP.

movingonup20 · 03/11/2020 17:33

It's normal to sell the home. Occasionally the sale is delayed (getting rarer) and tends to be where the home is adapted for disabilities/the children are close to leaving home anyway in the middle of exams. Be prepared to sell unless you can afford to buy him out

TheYearOfSmallThings · 03/11/2020 17:33

They may well order the house sold (this just happened to a friend of mine) but you will be given a reasonable amount of time to make other arrangements. The courts are definitely willing for children to have to move from their home - after all, moving house is not an unusual event.

Original poster
charrowell · 03/11/2020 17:38

I do not currently work, I claim UC but was told I'd need to start working when my youngest turned 3. That was in May but with Covid the DWP have said this is on hold. I am looking and have been applying but no luck yet. I want to work and be able to pay his half but this will not happen for sometime.
He pays child maintenance at the basic rate, he has savings that haven't been disclosed and shares in a limited company.

OP posts:
blue25 · 03/11/2020 17:40

It’s actually very likely the house will have to be sold in your situation. You can’t expect your ex to pay the mortgage and live with his mum. It’s hardly fair.

Simonfromharlow · 03/11/2020 17:43

I had to sell my house and downsize but as a result I got 75% of the equity in the house which with a small mortgage I was able to buy a small house for me and the children. It was the best thing that could have happened to be honest. I only work part time and receive maintenance and UC. I had a great mortgage broker who found lenders who will lend against UC and CM. Although this is all pre covid.

Seenobody · 03/11/2020 17:44

Have you had legal advice? Your solicitor would tell you the likely outcome. If neither of you can afford it, yes it will be sold.

I went to court for divorce proceedings and my house was ordered to be sold and I had two young dc with special needs. The equity was needed for me and exh to move on as neither of us could buy the other out.

It was what I expected though as my solicitor had advised me. Exh and I could not agree on the split of assets so that’s why it went to court.

Original poster
charrowell · 03/11/2020 17:47

@Simonfromharlow

I had to sell my house and downsize but as a result I got 75% of the equity in the house which with a small mortgage I was able to buy a small house for me and the children. It was the best thing that could have happened to be honest. I only work part time and receive maintenance and UC. I had a great mortgage broker who found lenders who will lend against UC and CM. Although this is all pre covid.
How many hours do you work and which area do you live in? I live in Buckinghamshire and it's expensive!
OP posts:
Emeeno1 · 03/11/2020 17:49

I didn't have to sell the house and my ex husband paid the mortgage in full.

These threads seem to attract posters who like to make out everybody has to sell their house but it is untrue. The court will look at your situation fairly, and your ex husbands continued responsibility to the children he fathered including keeping their family home. Do not let others scare you.

Good luck!

unmarkedbythat · 03/11/2020 17:51

I didn't have to sell the house and my ex husband paid the mortgage in full.

Was he also able to rent/ buy a home for himself?

Bathroom12345 · 03/11/2020 17:53

I think the key to this is do you work and can you increase your hours. realistically your ex cannot be expected to live with his Mum for 10 years. I used to live in Bucks myself and I know - very expensive!

I guess what you cannot expect is that you continue like this and your ex goes back to his parents. When there is a break up something has to give.

Bathroom12345 · 03/11/2020 17:54

But surely the court wouldnt expect the Father to live with his Mum!

madcatladyforever · 03/11/2020 17:56

Yes of course they can order it. Unless you can buy him out the house will be sold.
They don't care how you are housed or your children's comfort. Divorce is brutal and nobody wins.

movingonup20 · 03/11/2020 17:58

@Emeeno1

It's down to income. I didn't have to sell because stbexh could afford to buy another house using our joint savings as a deposit band pay both mortgage, he earns a decent income - 3 times the national average and I work. No judge will insist someone pays the mortgage and lives at their mums, after divorce unless income is over £60k ish it's unlikely to get anything but cms awarded. People need to be realistic, if they get a more generous settlement then it's great but be prepared for the worst. I get £1200 spousal maintenance and this is actually pretty unusual my solicitor told me (due to disabilities)

Original poster
charrowell · 03/11/2020 17:59

Yes i fully understand his situation, Im just in an awful situation of not having a job, therefore have no earnings or capacity to increase them whatsoever. The whole Covid thing has made it 10 times worse for getting work, but all have our health so are appreciative for that at least.

Im in a very rural area with no car (he took that!) so things do seem against me.

Thank you Emeeno1, it does feel like everyone ganged up on me there x

OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 03/11/2020 17:59

I dont know who all the others are probably got lots of money but myself and everyone I know who is divorced with children has been ordered to sell up to provide two homes or rentals. I think its wrong to give people false hope.

Seenobody · 03/11/2020 18:01

Everyone’s case is different but if you can’t afford the mortgage on your own and your exh can’t afford to rent, I can’t see any other solution.

The poster whose husband paid the mortgage and she kept the house must be in an entirely different situation.

Seenobody · 03/11/2020 18:02

What does your solicitor say?

Original poster
charrowell · 03/11/2020 18:08

@Seenobody

What does your solicitor say?
our finances were disclosed although he has not fully disclosed everything and is now being ordered to do so...He has savings in an account that evidence was not provided for.

He is hiding money, assets and is a share holder in the family company.

my solicitor cannot make any judgement as she is, as am I awaiting full disclosure

OP posts:
Covidasaurus · 03/11/2020 18:23

It’s often very difficult to obtain information from a limited company. I was unable to do so in my own divorce. It’s very tough OP.

MessAllOver · 03/11/2020 18:26

You both need to be able to afford a home. He can't be expected to pay the mortgage indefinitely if he has nowhere to live himself. The court will not expect his mother to house a fully grown working man forever.

Also, if you live in a rural area with limited employment prospects and don't drive, wouldn't it be in your interests to move somewhere a bit more convenient?

marveloustimeruiningeverything · 03/11/2020 18:27

If you're living in a very rural area with no car. it might be in your best interest to argue for most of the equity in the home and a big cash settlement when he's coughed up his hidden savings. Downsize and move somewhere less rural with access to regular transport options.

Viviennemary · 03/11/2020 18:28

You both need to make a decision in a fair way. Nobody would expect you to live with your parents in the long term so he shouldn't have to either. Maybe you can avoid selling the house if you are entitled to a share of his cash and the shares he holds which will be counted as assets.