Is there a 'template' on how to arrange children's arrangements?

[PurpleMustang]

I need advice My!! My partner is saying he is leaving. We obviously need to discuss who is having the children when but apart from a general idea I have no idea how all the finer details work. Is there somewhere that tells you what the 'norm' is? For context, he would be moving close-ish by, so no problem regarding distance to school etc. What works best for the children. Oldest is 15yrs so want to work it around whats best for him with amount of school work/exams/friends etc? I don't think therefore that one week on, on off would work. Think constant days would be best. So maybe Sun evening till Wed evening then Wed evening till Fri evening. Then alternating the weekends. Maybe? So over 2 weeks would be an 8 days me / 6 days him. I just don't know how/where to start!! So, all I know so far from what I have read is people usually do a 6pm drop off on swop days. How does it work for school holidays, does timings change? What about things like Christmas? Birthdays? I am out of my depth but need to be one step ahead. What works for you, especially those with teens? Thank you

There is a parenting plan template on the cafcass website that might help.

The 15 year old needs to tell you both when he wants to see his father.

It is really kids who are primary age and those who are under 16 with disabilities you need to concentrate arranging something for with your ex. You also need to ask your ex how often he wants to see your joint children before drawing up a schedule.

@harryrotter thank you I will have a look

@RedMarauder thank you for your comment. Unfortunately oldest is a sweet kid and a people pleaser so do not want to put him on the spot with it all. Dad wants 50:50, so he says. See how long that will last with the fact that he usually works away part of the week. And oh yeah, has done sod all parenting the past 15 years and doesn't know what to do. And has waited till they are old enough to be that bit 'independent' that he only needs to play Disney Dad. Oh and yeah has been cheating, so sure will have less time when whichever one pops up. I want something that can be stuck to. And having to assume he will return to the office, that will work around for the kids 'even though my doing it all so far hasn't helped is career' He has turned nasty so I need to do best for the kids, not him

Parenting Plans and Child Arrangements are done for the best interests of the kids not the parents. This is why it is up to older children to decide when and how much they want to see the parent they don't live with.

If you don't want to put your son on the spot then due to the fact he is 15 simply say to his dad that he will see him at least once a week.

The reason to say that is it is suitably vague to allow the your son to do his exams or whatever he wants to do, and all he has to do is pop in to see his dad for a few minutes at least once a week.

If your ex kicks off and demands to see the 15 year old don't argue with him simply don't engage. If your ex seeks legal advice - which he probably will - he will find he can't get an order to make the 15 year old see him.