Husband Only Declared 2 years Pension Should Be 23 !! Raging!

[Mummykins54]

My husband and I are separating - been married 23 years. He is fizzing mad that I am due half of his pension and has been stalling providing the figures to my lawyer. I was a full time mum for a good part of the marriage.

Today, much to my disgust, the pension figure arrived at my lawyers. He has declared 2 years pension from 2018 until 2020 - value `18k. His pension scheme changed from a defined benefits to a defined contribution scheme in 2018 - he is trying to pull a fast one here! He has not declared the value of the pension from 1997 (marriage year) until Aug 2020 (separation date). I am absolutely livid. His pension scheme was excellent and I am sure will be worth a lot of money.

Any advice - my lawyer is going to pursue but I feel it won't be easy getting this information from him.

I know he has to declare all pension figures so he is being really immature acting this way.

He has made it crystal clear that he is bitter about me getting half of his pension - btw he is due half of mine worth 120k !

Thoughts ladies - just need to vent!

We are selling the family home - but I want the split etc agreed in writing before we do so and this is only holding things up.

Some guys just have to play silly games. Mine told me to phone a friend having changed locks while I worked then told the kids that I was too mentally unwell to be at home and their school the same. I was still at work...

God Otter72 how did that get resolved ? Sounds horrendous

I know my DH would play games if we divorced.

Otter71 I mean

I went and stayed with a friend. I kept working. I rented a place. Then I took him for what I could... I eventually got my daughter on side even if my son is another matter. I moved on like I had to... It wasn't the first or last such silly game just the one that stings most still.
I am a nurse and responded to the email to the school he had felt the need to copy me in to to basically say it is true I no longer live at home, it is also true that I spend my days with healthcare professionals but that those healthcare people are colleagues. He ranted for ages about how unreasonable that was but all I had done was tell the truth...

I’d also not assume you’re getting half op, that’s going to be down to the judge and seldom does it go this way anymore, the judge will make sure you’re not left in poverty, but that doesn’t mean half. You’re entitled to claim for it, but that doesn’t mean you will be granted it

However he needs to provide the data so the judge can decide.

Wee update - I am changing my lawyer as the current one is doing nothing for me. New lawyer has advised that she will call my husband's lawyer to discuss the missing pension and if he still refuses to disclose it she will raise a divorce action in court, requesting him to pay the costs to instruct him to disclose the details.

Thanks for the update @Mummykins54, I’m glad your new solicitor seems more proactive. Do let up know the outcome. 🤞🏼For a good result.

@Bluntness100 50% is the starting point for the division of assets in a long marriage, and the sheriff will take account of her contribution to the marriage while she was a SAHP.

Thanks - I am actually feeling low today - cold feet kicking in. He has cancelled our life insurance without telling me. Got a letter in today - he called them to cancel and they think he must have said I consented which I didn't. He will stop at nothing to annoy me right now.

Is he paying the premiums? Do you want to take over the policy? No harm in contacting the insurers / broker and talking to them about it.

He sounds like a sneaky bastard.

I call the insurance company today S00LA - I could take it over but this is priceless, he would be named on it but not as a beneficiary and he would need to sign a form - so why didn't I have to sign something when he cancelled? The manager is going to listen to his call on Monday to see if he said I consented.

Yes he is a sneaky bastard - first trying to hide a 21 year pension and now this. Beginning to regret starting all this as its really taking a toil now. He point blank refuses to speak to me - thats been over 3 months now living in the same house. The bitterness at having to share some of his pension is unreal and not nice to be on the receiving end of it.

I know it’s awful but please don’t give up now. It’s not as if he will start treating you better if you drop it. On the contrary he will ramp up the nastiness as he knows it works.

When you will you be able to get out of the house?

I’m not an insurance expert. But I know that my friend got a life insurance policy as part of her divorce settlement.

She paid the premiums for 15 years after the divorce and when it came to term and paid out, it turns out that her exs name was still on it and he got half the money. I think it was about 20k and that was 10 years ago.

That sounds encouraging about your new lawyer. Hopefully he will declare it soon and you'll be able to get on with the process. It must be so hard still living together.

Is it worth sorting out your own life insurance so that you know at least if something happens to you, you have a pot to provide for your children? I don't know if you can force him to take out any, I do suspect my OH has cancelled his policy but I've made sure I've got plenty of insurance, written in trust for the children - just in case.

Mine has tried to hide pensions too.. it seems not uncommon. He maintains his old final salary pension should be exempt!

@S00LA

I’m not an insurance expert. But I know that my friend got a life insurance policy as part of her divorce settlement.

She paid the premiums for 15 years after the divorce and when it came to term and paid out, it turns out that her exs name was still on it and he got half the money. I think it was about 20k and that was 10 years ago.

That sounds more like an endowment policy than a straightforward life insurance policy?

You’re probably right. I don’t know much about insurance ! It was still a lot of money to lose, when she had paid all the premiums for years.

She has no idea that he was still going to get half of it.