Is 50/50 the starting point for custody of children?

[Torri67]

Just starting divorce proceedings. Stbxh wants 50/50 custody. I work part time, he works 4 days a week (flexible hours). Any reason he/I shouldn’t get this if the other challenges it? Also, we have a lot of equity tied up in our house. Neither of us can afford to buy the other out so I am presuming we will need to sell the house? I want to stay but can’t see there is any way for that to happen?

If we get 50/50 custody of dc and we earn similar amounts (I probably earn a little less in reality) will he need to pay me child maintenance? I am seeing a solicitor but they couldn’t see me until the end of the week and I’m just desperate for some information! Thanks.

How old are the children? 50/50 if the kids want that, is a reasonable starting point. If you both earn the same, and will walk away financially with the same amount- is there any reason why you would expect child support- maybe aim instead to share costs such as schooling and extra curricular activities 50/50. If both parents want to be involved, and the kids are happy with this- it's better than dad suddenly being relegated to EOW.

Just speaking from my own experience, not a legal perspective:
Ex and I split up when DD was just a year old, and we decided from the start that it would be 50/50 (I felt guilty as I was the one splitting up with him, and didn’t feel right to deprive him of being able to have equal time with DD, plus there’s no way I’d have been able to work full time if I had DD sole custody).

As I was still on mat leave, I had to find a fulltime job sharpish.
We were in a fortunate position that we had two properties, so he stayed in one, and we sold the other so that I could buy a flat.

Tbh, I wouldn’t have thought that your ex would need to pay you maintenance if you’re doing 50/50 and earning similar - why would he? At the time of our split, I found a job earning around £33k, whilst he was on more like £100k, but there was no question of maintenance at all, and I wouldn’t have wanted it, as it would have made me ‘beholden’ to him, and given him power.

If you’re considering 50/50, do think about it carefully. It may seem the ‘fairest’ division, but in reality can be tricky. As our DD was only one, we thought that there’d never be a problem as it’s all she’s ever known.
However, 8 years later, she’d much prefer to live just with me, and doesn’t like having two houses. She began saying this when she was 6, with much distress and angst all round, to the point that she was crying constantly, and became depressed.
EXDH refused to believe her/me, and refused to change the 50/50. This went on for 6 months, and he only agreed to make a slight change (to 60/40) when I threatened to take him to court.

Sorry OP, I know this probably isn’t the kind of thing you want to hear, but just trying to give my view. Good luck with everything. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Thanks for the replies. I wasn’t necessarily expecting child maintenance I just wasn’t sure how it works. Makes sense if we have 50/50 that I don’t get any but maybe stbxh can pay a bit more
towards clothes/school trips etc as suggested.

50/50 if you can manage it can work out good for kids, house likely to be sold and no maintenance if you split costs 50/50. Keep talking, try to keep it amicable and use a mediator rather than solicitor at first if you can't agree, once solicitors get involved it can go nasty quickly. We aren't using a solicitor, you can file online yourselves.

50/50 means no child maintenance as it assumes you'll be splitting costs between the two houses measured in equal time.

If you earn very similar its likely to end with selling the house and walking away with an even split of that and your respective incomes.

Courts prefer clean break these days and your in an ideal situation for that.

Half extras such as school trips. Or if he is on a little more than you ask him to pay a little more of that cost.