Single parent advice

[NC249]

Hi there,

Does any single mums have any advice on how to get over the fear of living alone. I recently separated from my daughter's dad and I am moving into a new house. I've mostly lived with family since having my daughter, so I'm finding the idea of living in my own home both exciting and daunting. Anyone have any tips? I'm worried about the times when my daughter is at her dads and scared my anxiety of being alone might kick in.

It's great you can stay up late eat toast and read MN. I like my alone time!

Sorry, I was a bit flippant, but it can be relaxing to not be on-duty mum for a bit.

You get used to it. I actually much prefer it now, peace to do, eat, watch what I want.

If I wanna dance naked around my kitchen singing bohemian rhapsody at the top of my lungs while eating toast dripping with honey washed down with rum cocktail...I can!

I'm not saying I do you understand, but if I wanted to I could!

Keep yourself busy, make arrangements to catch up with friends or family if you want (doesn't have to be in person can be phone/video call - just make sure you're dressed again first ), do things you enjoy or just slob out!

Make the most of it. You will come to value time to yourself. Sooner than you think too

I'm in the cusp of this, but have lived alone a lot in the past so do enjoy it. I'm dreading not being with my kids but I'm planning to fill my time with friends who I struggle to see (trying to match 2 sets of availability, I'm now available and ready to see whoever is free!), get back to exercise which has been MIA during lockdown and break up stress. I want to go on all the walks that my family don't! I want to go up a really big hill and feel the wind on my face.

When the children first started going to their dads for the weekend I planned the day into three. Morning. Afternoon and evening.

I planned something to two parts of the day. And made myself stay home for the other.

Being home alone was a difficult adjustment. But I got use to it and can now relax at home but it took time.
I volunteered at the night shelter. Joined a community allotment. And made plans with friends for a cuppa. So I saw someone each day. It was a military operation at the start. But it helped me adjust to have each weekend planned out.

I'm totally with you OP. DH and I are about to begin a trial seperation and Im dreading the times Im on my own. I've had anxiety for years and hate being on my own at home. This time round I'll have the dog to keep me company and I'm going to try and enjoy using any alone time for me. Do things I enjoy and get out walking with the dog.

Book a holiday (post covid)
Do stuff. The more stuff you do the less scary it becomes.
Always have a 3 day supply (for both of you) of paracetamol, ibruprohen, and antihistamine (one day), a UHT milk, A jar of pasta sauce (in case you can't be bothered to cook) and cous cous (because it's easy to prepared and doesn't go off).
Amazon prime and online food deliveries are your friend.

Pre-covid I'd arrange to go out with my friends. This weekend I've binged watched 28 episodes of The Rookie this weekend. It's all about balance! When you are parenting at 100% for the majority of the week, you need some down time to relax and reset. It will get easier.

Initially, I'd say having good locks/bolts eases anxiety. Having the best lighting you can outside and garden gate locks. This would do more to ease my anxiety than anything else.

The perks will soon become apparent!

Good luck