How soon to tell the kids- this week or next?

[Febo24]

Hello!

We'd intended to tell the kids tomorrow about us separating, but it'll be 2 weeks before things change and we start bird nesting.

My counsellor just mentioned that perhaps we wait a week, as the longer time period might lead to anxiety and confusion.

The fly in the ointment is my mum staying so we'd maybe have to wait until she leaves on the Sunday afternoon, which means they go to school the next day having just been told - what do you think??

In my situation the kids dad worked away regularly. So him
Not being around was normal. He moved out for a few weeks and decided he didn't want to come back. So we told the children together. There were tears of course. But we went to the park and fell very quickly into the normal ways.

It depends on the age of the children. My youngest was 5. And bedtimes were difficult for a long time after.

My eldest who was 10 was ok with the separation. But had a difficult time with his dads lacklustre attitude to seeing his kids

Let school know what is happening so they can keep an eye on the children and support them as needed.

There is "never a good time for bad news"

Perhaps better to get it over and done with

We told the kids week before my husband was moving out (they are 5 and 9) but I was told by my psychologist that if kids are older is better to give them couple of weeks to process. Also the kids can feel the tension, perhaps some odd conversations - they may feel something is not right so is better to tell them sooner so they can make sense of things.

We told the kids on Saturday, they had Sunday to process - they did ask some questions and then got on with school on Monday.

But don't worry, there is never a right time to tell the kids. Hugs x

Thanks chaps,

We have decided to wait until next weekend. As it happened, they were in funny moods from it being half term, although I'm sure it would have been okay.

It's never a good time, but in think we'd have felt rushed today.

Wah!

Good luck, hope it goes OK for you!

Everything's been amicable despite what he's done. But he was off last night, barely saying anything and it upset me.

I realise how much work is ahead, keeping things civil. Although my PMT isn't helping....

We waited a month to be sure, obviously the dd who lived at home realised he was sleeping in the spare room but she just assumed I was finally at my wits end with his snoring! He moved out 7 months later. Still good friends

Thanks, we'll be at a month when it happens and the issues are pretty big so I really couldn't continue in the relationship and not end up completely damaged myself. Still shit though.