Having wobble, feeling guilt

[artisanmarsbar]

I've moved out and am telling people and was so motivated to move. It felt 100% right. We haven't had sex or are affectionate for years, he's work focused, it's not fun etc

But now.... there's loads of things not working with where I'm moving into, ex is suddenly supportive and friendly, ds is sad, some people are supportive when told but some are making out I'm failing at life and asking have you tried counselling (yes) etc

I'm so busy reassuring others that I've stopped reassuring myself. And I'm like 'maybe long-term love is more companion, what was I thinking? etc'

Any reassurance welcome!!! Is this normal? I know if I talk to him emotionally he's going to annoy me with his limited passive view. And I know I don't want to sleep with him anymore due to how he's treated me over the years. But if I forget that, it's hard to not take on others' failure vibes.
So, any thoughts welcome.

Yes! See my post above/below.

Although we've got an incident under our belt which means I no longer trust him which kind of helps remind me why this is happening.

I'll waiting for us to start alternating (We're bird nesting initially) so it feels more real and I get actual space to think!

It's a mad limbo to be in.

I think though that there is a better life ahead, this is just so hard at the moment and I'm sure our brains are trying to protect the comfort bubble.

Completey understand op. I'm 6 months in and still living together essentially he's not a bad guy we just have had so many differences and one or two big things that ended the marriage entirely. The future alone is scary but I've been doing all by myself for 6 months and actually I'm happy on my own sometime I get lonely and I'm excited by the future either alone or if I meet someone.
I'm sure people stay in marriage for companionship but you will still have him In your life as a friend and Co parent.

I know how you feel but all I would say is remember other people only see what you have allowed them to see. They don't know the true ins and outs of your marriage. They mean well with their comments, but you didn't come to this decision lightly, and everyone has a different view on life. I'm sure how you feel is perfectly normal at this stage. Good luck for the future, have faith in it and be positive.

We've discussed how much to say and it'll be minimal - a statement rather than inviting a discussion. I think it probably goes with the territory that people will offer advice and judgement.

And I completely relate this to me telling people I stopped drinking. I used to give a full explanation and it went into a discussion. I soon realised that I didn't want to discuss it any more so it's now just a statement of fact, followed usually by a load of confessions from people about how much they drink!

You’ve done the right thing. Absolutely. I’ve had 25 years of a difficult marriage and it wasn’t even companionship.
The little blips you are encountering now will be surmounted and you will eventually settle into your new life.
Think about where you want your heart to be in a couple of years time and you’ll be fine.