Hello all,
So I have been with partner for 7 years, we have a 4 year old and 1 year old, their were warning signs before my eldest was born, he has always had a temper when pushed or just generally if he is tired or in a mood, and he has always liked a drink (binge drinking)
I guess I was in a bubble, he is hardworking, puts all the money into us and the lovley house we have, and he did used to be romantic, thoughtful, loving ect.
I guess I thought when my daughter was born things would change....
His priorities with drinking ect,
But they didn't, in 4 years he has never done a night feed, read them a bedtime story put them to bed, and he hardly ever gets up in a morning and let's me stay in bed.
I have not returned to work after having my 2nd baby and he uses that as another excuse to not help me, my 17 month old still doesnt sleep and is up 5 or 6 times in the night still breastfeeding.
I am exhausted and unappreciated.
He drinks heavily in the house which I find strange and staggers to bed,
he has gained a huge amount of weight,
I feel like all he wants to do is work, sleep and drink.
And we are mostly an inconvenience to him.
He loves the kids and they love him but it feels like it's when it suits him, it's me who takes them everywhere.
He always complains he is tired & the kids are my job but it's not my job 24 7.
He works hard but still when he is home he should help surely?
Also his parents have given me some shit over the years, and he doesn't have my back with them either.
He shows me no love, affection and only comes near me when he wants sex.
So 3 months ago I said I was done.
I eventually found a house 10 days ago.... he then said he wanted to fix it and he would have couple councelling.
I'm not in love with him and I did make the decision to lose the house and try.
I felt I owed it to the kids to try if he was willing to have councelling, we had it booked then the other day he lost his temper at my daughter and pushed her telling her to shut up.
I picked her up and told him he was out of order, it got heated we both said things then he lost it and put his hands round my throat while I had my 4 year old in my arms.
He let go quickly, it didn't leave a mark but I was frightened and so was my daughter.
I was going to call the police but he threatened me saying if I did then he wouldnt give me my money I invested in his house (10k and I am not on the mortgage, he bought it before he met me)
He did say sorry and admitted he crossed the line but said I drove him to it.
He has come close before and punched things before but i am placid and not argumentative plus I have always tried not to push him.
Sorry to write so much I just want to get it all out for you so you know what's what.
So since then he has been all nice and normal, and I'm now at a loss at what to do.