Hi all, I’m a 55 year old man. I was told in May ( one month before our 25th anniversary) that ‘we were finished’. There is nobody else involved. Our kids are 24 ( girl) and 21 (boy). I am on Citalopram for anxiety attacks which definitely help. For the sake of my health I decided to progress things. My wife is in denial. It has been a slow traumatic journey for me, I’ve had two breakdowns but my GP has been great and I’m now on a steadier keel!
To my point. Yesterday I told the kids. It wasn’t how I planned it. I wanted my wife and I to be together when we told them. However circumstances dictated that my wife wasn’t available and I was at the point that I had to move this forward. I was literally shaking. My daughter has her own place but my son lives at home so getting them together ( without partners) isn’t easy. I had to do it so I did.
It was awful to be frank. It never was going to be easy.
I felt sick ( I still do tapping this out) and have a feeling of letting them down. My daughter said she thought we would be together forever. My son has been very quiet but he will be speaking to his girlfriend.
My wife hit the roof and told the kids we were ‘having a rough patch’.
I had a good conversation with my daughter later and she had settled down a bit and a had a better understanding of the situation. We both have concerns about her mum ( my wife ) mentally and physically. She has fallen out with her sisters and doesn’t have many true friends to speak to. Her well-being is a major worry for me and my daughter.
Anyway my points are , be honest, tell the truth, keep all channels of communication open, tell them we are still mum and dad and that will never change.
Prepare yourself mentally for it. It was the most traumatic thing I’ve had to do and I’ve had a few recently dealing with our separation.
As my support tell me it’s like inching your way along a dark winding tunnel.
I have yet to see daylight...,
Good luck and bless you all.