Accused of having depression

[emptydreamer]

Ex (barely present in the life of children through his own choice) has suddenly discovered new interest in their lives, and had reported me to the Social services as suffering from extreme depression, neglecting the children and seeks to urgently change the child arrangement order for the children to live with him.

I do not suffer from depression, but interaction with ex does make me somewhat anxious (the divorce was quite acrimonious and he is really prone to vexatious litigation with wild allegations). His proof of my depression is that my house does not look ideally clean and the front garden is neglected (both are true, but because I cannot find time to do it all rather than unwillingness or illness).

How will I have to prove that I don't have depression? Is there anything social services will be looking at? Really nervous about this.

Hi @emptydreamer, I didnt want to read and run. All I can say is that if your ex came to my house, hed think I was suicidal as my place looks as if a bomb has hit it!!

How old of your DC? If they are of age, they may be asked who they want to live with.

I think the only way that you can prove that youre not depressed is to get a letter from your GP, although if hes making the allegation, maybe it should be HIM proving the depression!

I hope that your GP will be able to help you with this one, you may have to pay for them to write the letter confirming that you don`t suffer from depression.

Social services have probably heard countless stories like yours, and in their defence, they have to investigate. As long as they can see that your children are not coming to any harm or are in any danger, he may well lose his case.

I hope it costs him a fortune, and serves his own right for being such a cock-womble!!

Hope that helps to put your mind at ease xxxx

Sounds like a bit of old fashioned 'gaslighting' from your ex.

I'd prob tidy your front garden and have a good house clean just to cover the bases. If you have no docs appointments around mental health issues, then they'd see he's not telling the truth. Also, is there evidence of neglect? Are your children fed, read to, see their friends, have their clothes washed, needs met etc? No one can just make accusations 'stick' of this kind, with out proof; and a messy home is not indicative of social need (plenty of Doctors have hideously messy homes - my mate's a lettings agent and she says they're the worst). As long as your children are happy and cared for, he's not got a leg to stand on.

Wanting to see the kids though, he has a total right to do so (as long as he's a fit and sound person) and upto 50% of the time too. This will need negotiation and a sensible plan worked out.

If he's getting tricky and possibly trying to impact your life adversely, save his emails and texts, record phone conversations and get your house literally in order. Also, he sounds very provoking, try to be annoyingly calm and respond unemotionally and proficiently to his outbursts, demands and requests, don't rise to the bait. Get support from: a solicitor/ citizens advice, friends and the DC's school can back up your good parenting as can other parents. Good luck