Coping

[MissM123]

I'm really struggling at the moment, my husband has moved out to be with another woman after 27 years. I can't eat, sleep and am just an emotional rollercoaster, doesn't help I don't work (applying for everything) I have so much time on my hands thinking it over and over it just makes me feel sick.

I know everyone is different but when do things start getting better?

He's moved out, it's only been a week. I'm not sure if he's going to pay the mortgage and bills next month 🙄 so I'm stressing about that, even if I got a job couldn't afford to pay for everything.

Just feel so alone and low, just want to feel normal and I just feel empty. People have told me there is light at the end of the tunnel but just can't see it 😭😭

It is a big adjustment. Be kind to yourself and go day by day.

Get legal advice. Claim any benefits you are entitled too. Single person reduction on the council tax. Go through your bills. Cancel what you can and change providers for gas:electric etc. Get your out goings right down.

Start sorting what you can at home. Move things around. Buy new bedding and make the place different. And start getting his stuff together So you don't have the reminders everywhere.

Gather good people around you for support and go to your GP if you feel you are really struggling. I am an advocate of anti depressants. They enabled me to cope. I know that's not for everyone.

If you feel like you need to reach out to him do so in draft. And sleep on it before you send anything. This saved me many an embarrassing e mail.

Try to get out as much as you can. (COVID permitting). I joined a community allotment and volunteered at the night shelter. It kept me busy when the kids were with their dad. Exercise if you can. Remember to eat and drink. And look after yourself.

It has taken me 3 years to be ok. Ex behaved very badly and that hasn't helped me strangely.

Just take each day as it comes. You will get there in time.

Thanks 3 years to get over it is so long 😢

That was just me. He kept coming in and out. Not paying his way. Not seeing the kids etc. So I never got the opportunity to meet someone new. I couldn't afford nights out and baby sitters. And couldn't commit to having regular free time.

I think the process would of been much quicker for me. If I kept clear boundaries. Had funds and free time for me to get out and meet new people.