Stay at home parent separation so lost

[How321]

I’ve been a stay at home parent for over six years in September last year I got a part time job at the company my partner owns working the school hours so I could still take care of the children, I’ve know for years I’ve been in a controlling relationship mostly financial the mortgage is in my partners name both cars in their name all our savings accounts in their name except for one joint account that if I spend any money on anything other than food I get the third degree about how they don’t go to work all day for me to waste their money, we’ll it’s all come to a head recently when I made a cake for someone at work as it was their birthday and I felt sorry for them cause they didn’t get one, I came up with the idea after my partner left work and got the kids to help me, I didn’t tell my partner until I saw them at lunch time and which point I could see the anger boiling over as I had spent their money someone else, to cut a long story short the argument went on for three day until it ended with my partner making me get my own bank account and punching me in the face in front of the kids I went crazy back at my partner shouting that if they’d hit me they could hit the kids next, at which point they said I’d never hit my children they’re the world to me, cut to two weeks later I’ve been to hospital and police who’ve agreed with me I’m out of danger as I have left the relationship and now staying at my parents, so to leave it for courts to decide, I’ve spoken to a solicitor who’s told me I can go for 50/50 custody but it’s unlikely they’ll move the kids from my partners house as it’s their home, they also said I would be entitled to none of the assets as it’s all in their name, I’m currently borrowing money off my parents to live, this all doesn’t sit right with me even the police officer I spoke to said my partner would have had to pay for child minders if I wasn’t putting my career on hold to look after the kids so I’d be entitled to at least something, they fact that my partner owns a house plus 2 successful businesses one that’s up for sale for over £50000 and I get kicked out lose my kids and the only things my partner has let me take from the house is the things I moved in with 7 years ago cause they paid for everything else, except their car which we used my wages to pay for They’re keeping that, I’m literally at a loss.

I'm so sorry this hasn't received any response yet, it might be better placed on divorce separation board, mumsnet will move it for you if you report it and request this

We're just moving this over to the suggested topic, OP. Let us know if you want it moved back - or if there's anything else we can do to help.

Sadly, the police officer’s moral opinion is irrelevant. You keep saying partner - so are you not married? I’m not 100% sure on that, because you’re sticking to a “they” pronoun, so there’s a possibility of same sex relationship and civil partnership?
It’s really important whether you’re married / in a civil partnership or neither. But as a solicitor has told you no claim on assets, I’m pretty certain you’ll say no marriage / civil partnership.

I was married and sadly was still made homeless when I walked out on my narcissitic ex. Being married does not automatically mean financial protection. Seven years on I'm still renting, childcare is enforced 50/50 for our boys. He remains in large former marital home.

No married currently she’s letting me drop kids off at school and pick them up from school till she comes home from work, Feel like a baby sitting service so she can still work, I don’t understand what can make people this mean to the person who brought up your kids, I really feel like starting a campaign to make it illegal for men to be stay at home dads cause you get even more attached to your kids and it can be taken away on the whim of their mother. Sorry can’t help but feel bitter