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Divorce/separation

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Is it scummy to register for dating site 1 week after separation

5 replies

lulufar · 17/09/2020 06:34

Back story
Been together 8 years, blended family 4 his and 2 mine. I have raised his children since the youngest was 2. Basically 80% full time care. He worked from 5 in the morning until 6 pm at night. So I worked full time, managed the house, raised the kids. Covid-19 and lock down killed things for me but really the resentment of having to be the drudge raising children and maintaining a household, not to mention cooking for 8 every night with little to no support. I am still having to co-habitat with him for the next 4 weeks. Fortunately he is taking his children (only) on holiday for 2 weeks during that period. He has sent me an email asking me if I would continue to pick up kids and drop off kids etc during that period. Basically keep up appearances for the kids sake. He said he would appreciate it. He bought me a car for my birthday 2 weeks ago and now has taken that back. He is jointly responsible for a $20k loan, of which two thirds is his share. We had a baliff come to the door to serve him papers for an unpaid bill the week before I made the decision to leave him. He believes that the reason we are splitting up is my "trust issues". Its not! It is the resentment of being an unpaid babysitter.
So I created a fake profile on a dating site - the one we met on - on a hunch. Yep there he was front page - which means he is an active user. He created this 2 days ago. Exactly 1 week after the separation talk and 1 day after we told all the kids.
He's a shit, right?

OP posts:
BritInAus · 17/09/2020 06:40

Sounds like he's a shit regardless of when he made the profile. Urgh - sounds like you are well rid and I hope you can sort all the practical stuff as soon as possible and can move on x

Cocomarine · 17/09/2020 13:37

Well, he’s a shit.
But once you’re split up with someone, I think dating is fine.

So I really wouldn’t get hung up on that.
You have plenty of other things to dislike about him!

movingonup20 · 17/09/2020 13:47

You left him, he decided to go on the site to prove he's still desirable basically. I did this (not one week I might add) and it was life affirming that men did find me attractive. I met dp a few months later. Everyone acts differently, as long as you had split it doesn't matter

ChaChaCha2012 · 17/09/2020 13:51

No, it's not scummy. You ended it, he's free to start looking for a new relationship.

bananachocolate · 17/09/2020 13:57

It's hurtful and I won't blame you for being upset by it but you are broken up and he's free to do as he likes. He's clearly a shit partner anyway so let someone else become his skivvy

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