He wants to mediate but is EA, yet I'm too fragile to face court. Help?

[Boonlark]

As the title says really.

It was only a short marriage but I'll be left in a much worse financial position than when we married (lost spousal maintenance and tax credits and have a low income), and he'll be in the same financial position as when we married. He's also put in his notice for his job for the new year, when he's going to Tey to get some work abroad.

I've also been referred for suspected PTSD by the GP for something unconnected that happened recently.

I phoned the mediator he prefers, and they're not sure that mediation would be possible because of how he's treated me, and because of the suspected PTSD.

I feel like having to go to court, would be worse for my mental health. Plus he'd be abroad and not likely to cooperate.

Any thoughts?

You should be able to get tax credits (or universal credits) back again.

It's a real shame you gave up your spousal support - i'm guessing this is from a prior marriage? How much was it worth if you don't mind me asking. You might be able to argue that you should be recompensed for this in the financial agreement.

As for low income - is that because you only work part time? Just trying to think of ways you could maximise your income.

I'm not sure whether I can get universal credit right now. I'm temporarily staying with friends because I'd the incident and have our an offer on a house, but the savings I have for the house are above the universal credit threshold. So I'm hoping I'll be able to claim once I've completed.

I'm a bit concerned that buying the house could be seen as depriving myself of capital though? I've had the savings from the first marriage for a few years as I felt overwhelmed at the idea of buying a house and had accommodation provided by work. But now I need somewhere for us all to live, I've just had to get in with buying somewhere.

Yes, I work part time as one of the dc has disabilities which mean I have to do the school run and not put him in after school care.

My first ex agreed to £150/month spousal maintenance. Current ex originally offered that (as a lump sum) but then withdrew the offer once he knew I was about to put an offer in on a house.

Can you do mediation on line and in shuttle? That way you don't face him in person and the mediator goes from one of you to the other. Then you get to take a deep breath before replying to anything he asks of you. What does your solicitor suggest you do?

I can't afford a solicitor, but I'd be ok with shuttle mediation, I think. And hope I could suggest that too the mediator. And if it's done remotely, maybe I could have a a supportive friend sitting in with me? Thank you

He originally offered to pay for mediation but when I just double checked before commiting, he's now changed his mind.

He also couldn't understand that I don't have a solicitor. He just couldn't believe I could have divorced him all by myself (this was before the incident).

And he won't let me have his solicitor's details. (He was demanding to have my non existent solicitor's details at the time)