Am I stuck?

[Nucksake]

Desperate for advice as I have no idea which way to turn.

Unmarried, joint mortgage, unemployed as I stay home with the children. I'm looking but work is scarce. He may have sabotaged a recent opportunity but I have no proof of this. I have no family, no savings. The relationship has ended and he won't go. Says he can't afford to. This is possibly true. He thinks we should stay as we are until our 2 small DC are "old enough to understand". We are unable to separate within the family home. I can't manage this long term.

Somebody please hit me with ideas, or even just some sympathy as I feel utterly fucking hopeless

You’re not stuck no but if you’re not married you have far less rights than if if you were

This may involve working out what benefits you’re entitled too plus cms and go from there, while continuing your job search

Do you have relatives you can stay with ?
How old are the children ?

Any equity in the house?

Sorry for late reply. I hid the thread and then couldn't find it to come back to.

Children are toddler and early primary ages. No relatives at all. Equity isn't massive but before long it will be enough that I won't be able to claim certain benefits, providing the house matches the value we bought it for. In it's current condition I am not sure how likely this is. CMS wouldn't be a huge sum, he's a low earner.

You need a family solicitor. Many of them do a free 30 mins so make sure you’ve got all your questions and paperwork ready.
Proof that you’re on the mortgage/deeds.
Screen shots of all of yours and DP’s bank accounts.
Change your passwords.

Thank you. Passwords changed already. Starting to put together a documents file I can store with a trusted friend. The only thing I can't get is his private account. It's possible I may have to go at short notice. It's not been pleasant and it's worse since I told him it's over. All wisdom appreciated. I've emailed Women's Aid and suddenly I'm absolutely terrified. I know I'm probably going to walk away with nothing but my children and a bag. I never thought it would come to this.

Don’t be terrified, imagine stepping out into a brand new life with your bag on your back and a child’s hand in each of yours.
Get your independence and your life back. You can do it 💐

It's daunting but you can do it. Life will be so much better out of the situation x

Fipperty That made me cry a little. Thank you.

He's not the worst there is, but I know I can't live out the rest of my days like this. He has me questioning everything, even myself. I'm even getting jumpy. He apologised for everything before, now he's trying to find a way to make it my fault. And he walks around like nothing has changed, with a grin on his face. It's really disconcerting. I didn't used to think he scared me, but I wonder if now maybe he does?

Thank you too Holly. You're right, I know you are.

if you’re feeling scared, or even just unsure, please tell that friend of yours.

I will when I can . She knows what things are like anyway. She realised before I did I think.