Acrimonious divorce ahead - advice please.

[NoAgendaInLife]

Hi Everyone,

I have a friend who has just found out (6 weeks ago) his Wife has been cheating on him and she now wants a divorce. She has turned very nasty very quickly and will now only talk through solicitors. He has a share in a business. Over the years they have acquired a couple of buy-to-let properties as well as the family home. I'm pretty sure there are mortgages on everything. He has tried to discuss settlement with her to which her response is "I'm going for the lot." I can get more financial details if someone thinks they're important.

Simply question... We all know she isn't going to get the lot but what can he do to avoid a lengthy and expensive legal battle? Should he just go directly to court or is there another route he can go down?

Thanks in advance,

Negotiate and be pragmatic
Start at 50% then negotiate up or down according to their circumstances

You can’t just go to court anyway. Unless there’s been domestic abuse, everyone has to try mediation.
Both parties meet with a mediator separately, then they all meet together to try to come to an agreement. The mediator will try to keep the peace and advise on general legal matters.
It requires full financial disclosure, as going to court would. And the starting point is the same - start with a 50/50 split, adjusted to ensure any children are taken care of, then adjusted to try to ensure both parties can live independently.

As far as settlements go - it’ll depend on any children, length of marriage, assets held both jointly and independently, and earning capacity.

If there are children involved then residency/access can also attempt to be resolved by mediation.

There is the Form E (I think it's called which is full financial disclosure) that both parties need to do.

So he starts with getting all properties valued by 3 parties - at their selling price no aspirational ones, gets the Value of the mortgages outstanding, gets his pension valued, shares in the business valued etc etc

His ex needs to do the same. Starting point is 50:50 each but circumstances can change that such as children, disparity in current earnings. Disparity in future earnings potential etc.

I believe she may earn more than him. I have a couple of friends whose divorces turned nasty and wound up in a court hearing. If she's been deliberately awkward and run his legal bills up out of pure spite, what are his chances of being awarded costs by a Judge?

How confident is he to self-rep? I had a hugely empowering solicitor who encouraged me to do as much as I could - I used a barrister at court for the nitty gritty but saved a packet. I didn't get costs despite my ex really dragging things out pointlessly.

The easiest would be to just go 50/50.