I wonder if anyone can offer any advice.
After years of emotional abuse living with a very angry narcissistic man I finally reached my 'this much and no more' moment and left him 18 months ago - divorce petition on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.
He refused to move out until a few weeks ago which meant we were trapped together through lockdown which has been hellish.
Throughout he has refused to calmly meet or discuss things with me - shouts, swears and hangs up the phone , walks away when I try to talk to him - and the result of this has been big delays to the processes. He didn't respond to the divorce for a year - I had a process server on standby but was too nervous of his reaction to get the papers served. He talks the talk and says things like 'The kids will never want for anything' and 'of course mediation is the way to go' but then doesn't give me any money for the children and delays any mediation meetings as 'he didn't get the email' or ''he can't get zoom on his tablet' or 'he can't afford it' etc.
Anyway this is all just background.
After my initial mediation meeting in October last year I did all the follow up work and got 3 house valuations. We are now finally in a position to move forwards having taken all year to have 4 mediation meetings. The sums we have agreed on are a big stretch for me to buy him out (in debt to the tune of 6 times my salary with mortgage and family loans) but they are just manageable. However I have been asked to get new property valuations as they were done so long ago. I have had one agent out who gave me a valuation £20-£30K higher. I am now really worried as anything higher means I cannot raise the money required to buy him out, although I could have done if he hadn't delayed everything so much.
This is really frustrating as I can't get a big enough mortgage with a 2nd charge so the only other option is to sell the house which is means we would have to move out of the area completely and the kids would need to change school. One has just started in Y7 and for the other it's GCSE year, so I really don't want to uproot them if I can avoid it.
I have no wish to do anything underhand but if I can get property valuations which are at the lower end of the scale this would really help. The house needs loads of work but looks so nice now - I have been painting and decorating since he moved out and making it so much nicer - kind of reclaiming it as a calm and friendly place - and have effectively shot myself in the foot in terms of a valuation.
Does anyone know if I would be better off getting a chartered surveyor to do a valuation - maybe I can point out all the faults this way...? I thought finally there was light at the end of the tunnel and now I am feeling really anxious again.