How long does it take to feel happy again

[sillycat72]

So after an awful time with my husband and his family, I moved out just before lockdown, I mean there was a sense of relief as I was literally so unhappy and emotionally abused but I still grieved for the relationship. I cried most nights and still his family were managing to upset me. However I have managed to get myself back on my feet, I did some courses during lockdown and now have more qualifications to add to my therapy business. I also just found a part time job to work along side to get a bit more money for us. I've found a house to buy and that's going through. I've been out and about with friends and had a weekend away with my kids, so I am moving forward with my life. I have even been on a few dates but just noooo! Too soon maybe and too many weirdos. But I still burst into tears sometimes and go through it all in my head what happened to me. Is it normal to have up and down days? I guess it's only 6 months since I actually left 🤷‍♀️

Honestly. For me it was about 18 months where I got in to bed every night and was feeling utterly over whelmed and like it took every thing out of me just to function.
I did still feel sad for a bit longer.
By 2 years I was in such a stronger position. I loved my new home, I felt liberated and to be honest I looked 10 years younger. I felt I could breath.
But it took time. Lots of time

Sounds like you’re doing well OP. Perhaps a little soon to date though. You’re doing that to stop the pain but you have to live through it and come out the other side unfortunately. There are no shortcuts!

It took me three years to get over my ex. He broke my heart and broke my faith in men.

I’m much better now though. Don’t really feel anything about him. Don’t care. Never thought I’d get here but I’ve managed!

When I met dp, about 8 months. Quite quick but my marriage had been failing for years

Ps there is no right or wrong time to start dating - I found it great for getting my confidence back, then wham a few weeks later I met dp, unexpected but it was obviously meant to be

I think I'm still in shock at how quick things went wrong, I mean really wrong and I keep playing it over in my head. I don't dream about it as much now though

I'm 4 months in and still have horrendous days to be honest..but also some good days. I am sometimes wondering when this will all pass as it awful to live through. Some things I have done to help it, exercise every day, eat really well, cut down caffeine, cut out wine it was making me so depressed and just taking one day at a time. I've started a diary too which I write in daily. It's all helping. Find walking my dogs helps. I also recognise I'm in the depression stage of grief and I know it will get better. We still ahev to live together for now which is crap but won't be forever. Good luck..

I was so relieved when I told him Ididn't want to be married to him anymore....i never looked back.
I "found" myself in divorce...realised that I could do everything on my own and didn't need him bringing me down. Yes there were difficult days, but I got through it. 5 years on I've remarried, moved away and have a great life. I have no contact with ex at all, although adult dds mention him occasionally.

Keep strong. Sounds as if you are doing really well.