Advice on divorce- splitting of assets etc.

[Sugarpuffz1989]

Hi everyone.
So i am am divorcing my husband on the ground of two year separation (dont think he will go for it but if not it will be unreasonable behaviour as there was domestic violence)

So we were together for 11 and half years but only married for 3 of those, its now 5 years married if you add on the 2 years separated.

The assets would be i think the house and his pension, everything was in his name so i have had to get a home rights notice to protect my interest in the property. Now i dont really have any assets, i have a car i brought after i left for 2k, i rent, everything i have i brought when i left as he kept everything. We have 2 children under 16, they both live with me and have only letter contact as court order states. I spent 12k last year protecting us and getting these orders.

My questions is from experience what split would i get? the house is about 120k but we has debts too of about 50k including what was left on mortgage, he has a nearly full pension and i dont have one. He is asking for a clean break or no divorce as he thinks its fixable (totally delusional) because he doesn't want us to get anything but obviously that's not going to happen.

So he has no children living with him, I have the two, we both work, he earns around 19k and i earnt around 30k but since the covid my business has failed right now so my income is about 6k which we are getting UC atm.

Just want some advice as this is causing me alot of anxiety, not had the best 2 years and alot has happened, want it over and would like advice on what i may be able to get for our future.

If there is anything you need to know to better advise me just ask.

TIA

Not sure what you mean by full pension?

It’s impossible to say what a split would look like
A solicitor will be able to guide you
The years cohabiting prior to marriage will be taken into account
Your solicitor will also look at :
Both parties ages, current and potential earnings, minors and arrangements for them in trying to work out a fair split
You’ll need to understand value of the pension - and your ex will need to provide that as part of the financial disclosure

Hi, I mean he could retire on it soon with the pot being full? well thats what he said.

Don't believe ANYTHING he tells you, he's an abuser, they lie with ease. Have you had legal advice?

yes i have a solicitor but she isnt very good, hard to get hold of her. the divorce has only just began, someone mentioned to me that the house is an asset but also the pension, but i have had a friend that said its wrong to go for his pension? All i know is right now we live in a flat and we haven't been able to afford much of anything as i have had to buy everything from scratch and pay the 12k solicitor fees to obtain the children orders and a restraining order. He lives in a 3 bed house which over half paid off which we shared and has a big pension, i dont have any assets really. I dont want to have to claim anything or for it to get messy but i want something to fall back on for my kids and to give us some money for a deposit on a house etc. Right now i feel like a scrounger from his family and one friend, because i only worked 3 years of the 11, but the rest i was raising the children.

No, it's not wrong to go for his pension , where did your friend get their degree??

If you're not happy with your solicitor please get another one. Women's Aid should be able to recommend ones with experience in your circumstances.

You are not a scrounger, you are merely trying to make sure your children are provided for.

I didnt choose this one, its on legal aid, im not sure how long ill be eligible as once my business picks up (hopefully it will) then ill not be on UC anymore. I did it while i was on it because i could never afford it normally, im still paying of debts from the last court experience which i think i should have had help with (they took into account my 7k i had pout aside to pay HMRC for my self employment tax and i had 0 savings in reality)

Just feel fed up with it all tbh and want it over so bad. Its getting me so down.

The pension is definitely included in the marital pot. Don’t exclude it

Strictly speaking, marriages under 10 years are classified as short and they consider what was brought into the relationship more than over 10 years. If you have proof of living together prior this will be taken into account (eg were you on the electoral roll at the same address?) You need a decent lawyer because it's not that straightforward, and the reason you split is not taken into account when they calculate money. A final settlement is most likely which could include selling the property and splitting the equity and splitting any pensions and savings. On his salary apart from child maintenance he will not be ordered to pay ongoing spousal support.

Yh i dont expect any money from him after clean break other than the kids maintenance. we were together 12 years, i though that was rather long, longer than i would have liked wither way lol. Yes i was living with him on the electoral roll for all of that time.

Get a different solicitor. At least get a free half hour and ask them outright what the deal is. Even if you can afford to pay for an hour for a good one it can be totally worth it. Then a bit later another hour. Then a bit later another hour. You can do all the dog work and keep it affordable while still using them to help you. You have kids and their needs come first. Don't listen to a word he says. He's unlikely to contest it as it's expensive apparently/surely. Sounds like a nightmare OP but have the courage to quietly fight for you and your children xx

It will be counted as a longish ‘marriage’ as the cohabitation will be included - this is what I was told ( I’m married 13 but cohabited 5 prior )

@Littleorangeflowers

Get a different solicitor. At least get a free half hour and ask them outright what the deal is. Even if you can afford to pay for an hour for a good one it can be totally worth it. Then a bit later another hour. Then a bit later another hour. You can do all the dog work and keep it affordable while still using them to help you. You have kids and their needs come first. Don't listen to a word he says. He's unlikely to contest it as it's expensive apparently/surely. Sounds like a nightmare OP but have the courage to quietly fight for you and your children xx

Thank you, ill happily accept the encouragement, i think thats the hardest part is going it alone. I dont have much family or friends and its not something i really openly discuss either as i dont like being judged and then changing my mind! which is prob why he gets away with murder.