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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Expecting ex to pay.

36 replies

Vauxhallvulva · 10/08/2020 15:34

My exh and I have one child. We have been divorced for 7 years. He is remarried and living the life of Riley in a big house, dual income. I was the higher earner but lost my job last year. I. Don't want to find another just now and don't see why I should struggle with no maintenance. We share our DD 50/50. If I go through CMS will they make him pay despite the fact we have a clean break order?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 10/08/2020 15:38

Child maintenance isn’t related to a clean break order but equally shared care usually means none is due. It’s not his fault you lost your job, don’t fancy finding another or that he has a wife who’s also earning.

With 50/50 care would you offer him money if he lost his job and couldn’t be arsed to work? I doubt it.

Original poster
Vauxhallvulva · 10/08/2020 15:55

Thank you. So is it worth me going through the csa?

OP posts:
Original poster
Vauxhallvulva · 10/08/2020 15:55

Would he be able to challenge it or will they just take the money from his pay?

OP posts:
Feralkidsatthecampsite · 10/08/2020 15:57

50 /50 usually means no Cms..

purpleboy · 10/08/2020 15:59

I'm not sure there is any point going through cms when you have 50/50.

Why do you think he should pay you when you both have your child the same amount? Why aren't you paying him?

If you need money, the done thing is to get a job.

TheMumblesofMumbledom · 10/08/2020 16:00

If you have truly 50/50 Care then he doesn't have to give you anything.

minnieok · 10/08/2020 16:01

50/50 means no cms except in exceptional circumstances. Even where spousal maintenance is awarded (I get it) you are expected to work full time and they consider your standard of living based on that. (Because of kids and caring responsibilities I earn 25% of him so receive a modest monthly payment), I didn't have a clean break order.)

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/08/2020 16:06

By all means check the CMS but your income, or lack of, isn’t relevant, his is. You could also ask him. He may laugh in your face when they work for their income and you expect him to pay you instead of getting a job. But it’s your life.

Why don’t you want a job? Are you claiming benefits?

Original poster
Vauxhallvulva · 10/08/2020 16:09

I have had to give up my job as my mental health is too bad because of not seeing my DD all the time. The exes wife's ex paid for her so he should pay for my only child surely?

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 10/08/2020 16:14

Right
Crack on
If you want more money get a job
Make a claim under cms but if you gave 50:50 it’s unlikely

Sunrise234 · 10/08/2020 16:17

I doubt you will get anything under CMS as others have pointed out you have shared care of your DD. You may be entitled to a very small amount or you may have to pay him a small amount but I doubt it.

The fact that you don’t work regardless of the reasons is nothing to do with maintenance payments.

Mrsm010918 · 10/08/2020 16:19

You won't get maintenance for 50/50.

Sounds like you're on about spousal maintenance, which considering you had a clean break order, you won't get either.

Mrsm010918 · 10/08/2020 16:21

Also, the fact his new wife earns is irrelevant to any cms claim as it is not her child.

So she could earn 20million a year and your ex only 15k and it would still only be based on his wages.

Reluctantcavedweller · 10/08/2020 16:21

Why don't you want another job? What is it that you want to do with your time instead?

The reason he has more money than you is because he is working to earn it. If you were the higher earner last year, you would probably have more money than him if you were working. Do you think you should pay him money in that scenario.

You do equal childcare, so why do you think he should give you money for your DD (rather than you giving him money)?

Codexdivinchi · 10/08/2020 16:22

You’ve got zero chance if he has her 50% of the time. And the clean break has knackered you up because you can’t apply for spousal maintenance.

The only thing you could do is speak to a solicitor to see where you stand.

MarcelineMissouri · 10/08/2020 16:25

In your first post you said you lost your job, in your last you said you had to give up your job because you can’t cope with not seeing your dd all the time..... you need to get used to not seeing her all the time and get back to work surely....

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/08/2020 16:27

Surely keeping busy when she’s with her dad and stepmum will help?

NoemiaElara · 10/08/2020 16:28

Child maintenance is for the child. It's not so you can have a jolly everyday and not work! How much do you think you'd get!?

I'd like to see my daughter all the time. But I have to work to provide a good standard or living for both of us. That's just the way life works. Why not just find a rich old man to sponge off instead?

PatriciaHolm · 10/08/2020 16:29

Reverse…

Viviennemary · 10/08/2020 16:34

I can see why you're annoyed he is now living the life of Riley. But spousal maintenance isn't as common these days. You could go back to court to try for a bigger share if you're struggling and have lost your job.

millymollymoomoo · 10/08/2020 16:36

Not if they had a final clean break consent order she can’t go back to court

Brieminewine · 10/08/2020 16:42

Are you for real? 🤣

You don’t want to work so your next logical step is to ask your ex of seven years to give you money because you have a child you share 50/50 custody of?!

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/08/2020 16:46

@Brieminewine

Are you for real? 🤣

You don’t want to work so your next logical step is to ask your ex of seven years to give you money because you have a child you share 50/50 custody of?!

...and because his wife works.
Batshittery · 10/08/2020 16:46

Sounds like you're jealous of ex's life. You should try find a job (dependant on you MH) You are not entitled to claim from him if you share 50/.50 care

Viviennemary · 10/08/2020 16:48

Tell him he needs to contribute more. Pay for all your DDs hobbies and clothes at least. And holidays. It's cheeky if his wife's ex is paying. I'd be annoyed too.