Selling the house- splitting equity

[Freddofrogshop]

Had a 30 min phone consultation with a solicitor today.
She told me that courts now prefer to split the house proceeds 50/50. I have 2 dc, so she said they might consider 45/55.
How can that be fair if I have to get a 3 bed house and he can get a 1 bed place? He will be so much better off than me financially, how is that fair.?
I'll really struggle to get a mortgage big enough to top up the deposit to actually buy anything.

So can anyone tell me if that is really correct?

Why will he only need a 1 bed? He’ll need housing suitable to have the children overnight ?

Nope, he is going to rent a room to begin with. He has no intention of having the kids overnight.

To be fair, it's not in the best interest of ds to have two bedrooms, he has asd and needs routine. He couldnt cope with staying in 2 different houses.

Assuming you'll get maintenance? And a gold benefit? Some lenders will consider these for income.

The next step is to see a mortgage advisor.

It will also depend on your income - are you working?

Yep, working full time , but low (ish) paid

I think based on need you’d be awarded more than 55
Clearly completely dependent on your individual circumstances but if there is large income disparity and children to house it’s likely you’d be awarded higher than 55%
What other assets are there ?

See a different solicitor and one that will fight your corner. Kids and ASD may change things.

I earn more, but still less than 25k. He earns 10k, but expecting 15k from sept.

He says he will come to the house each day when I go to work to take dc to school and all day during holidays.
He will never have them overnight or weekends.
Solicitor says this makes him the main carer and he will probably get the house, even though he doesnt want to live with the kids.

So will the kids and I have to move out and he keeps the house, and they go there during the day in school holidays?

Dd wont do that, she is 17 so gets to make her own choices.

The thing with half hour solicitor consultations is they'll be telling you the very basic, broad, general outlook. You really need to pay for a decent solicitor, especially as you have circumstances which don't fit 'the norm'

You have had crap advice. No way is what your partner proposes going to have classed as the main carer.

Assets in divorce generally follow children’s housing needs. If he’s not actually having them to stay at his ( which btw I don’t understand) then you have greater needs
See other solicitors

millymollymoomoo he is not having him at his cos he doesnt want to. The main reason he is moving out is he cant cope with the stress of living with a child with asd and adhd.

He can do school holidays during the day whilst I'm at work, cos he knows that he can leave at 630 and not have to do anything else. He will just do the fun holiday care. And an hour or so at the begging and end of each day including the school run. A bit like a childminder does.

I wouldNt allow that
It’s not right he gets the fun bits only

I've just realised that his plan will mean I never get any time to myself. I'll be going to work then home to the kids. That's it.

I won't be able to go out, at all, ever, as there is no childcare or babysitters for sen children.

I cant see any way around this. There is certainly not enough money for two houses big enough to house three people.
He is getting a room in a shared house, so not suitable for them to visit really.

Find and sign up to local support groups for children with autism and asd - Facebook etc so you can get a circle of friends that can help lot with babysitting
But seriously do not let him just take the good bits nor get himself as primary carer if he won’t have them overnight !
I’d be saying no contact vs that !

If he has no contact I cant work!

You might find, if this were to go to court, they would suggest what is known as a 'birds nest' arrangement which means that whoever is looking after the child/children stays at the home and the other parent stays at the other property. It's certainly not ideal and I don't know enough about additional needs children to comment any further but just be prepared for that option to be thrown at you.

Please, please get a decent solicitor.

Get a different solicitor. This all sounds ridiculous.

Why does he earn so little?

You need a different solicitor. Please call around first thing on Monday.

In the meantime the wikivorce website/forum is really useful with actual advice from experts/folk who have been through it all. Sign up this afternoon

He earns so little as he works as a teaching assistant, school hours only. Which is why he does all the daytime childcare.
From sept he will be getting more responsibility, similar hours, but increase in salary to about 15k.
We need him to keep these working hours, cos there is no suitable childcare available for ds.

I work full time, quite senior but in a career with v low salary. Not much scope for me to increase my income any further.