Forcing sale of former marital home - how?

[CapitalB]

My ex H and I have been separated and obtained the decree nisi. He still occupies the family home. We share the kids 50/50.

I want to sell the house so I can sever the financial ties that bind us. I don’t have enough money to rent and had to move in with my elderly Mum in order to be able to afford to live.

I have always been the higher wage earner and continue to pay the mortgage. He is still studying but has just failed his latest round of exams and now I am looking at potentially waiting another 2 years before he is able to find employment in his field of interest (Covid permitting).

My patience has run thin and this latest set back is now making him dig his heels in, refusing to consider a sale of the FMH. He can rent and will probably get quite a bit of government help through Universal Credit to do so whilst I am unable to rent myself due to me continuing to pay the mortgage on the house. Kids spent their time in equal measures at mine and his.

What can I do to force the sale of the property? I am worried that if I agree to giving him more time then we are looking at selling the only asset we have in an climate of post Covid depression and will potentially lose thousands of pounds on the sale.

Any advice please? Mediation hasn’t worked.
Lawyer is being unhelpful and asks me to give him time and accept the loss. So I have no right to be able to rent on my own? I can’t keep living at my Mother’s house.

Have you contacted your mortgage lender? Maybe they can advise.

You need a new solicitor. This is actually abusive.

And he does NOT get to tell you when he's moving out. What a cunt. Does his new girlfriend know he's sponging off you?

I don’t dare to move back in Milly. I feel he’d find a way to make this awful for our kids

I will make sure I share equal nights again. I have the kids now until Tuesday and will try and talk to him again. Meanwhile the solicitor said to make a D11 application for an urgent hearing and state my claim. Basically I can’t afford to rent as I’m supporting him and I can no longer stay at my Mum’s due to Covid when the kids go back to school. I’ll see where this goes. Thank you so much for all the good advice ladies. Any more input please feel free to leave a comment.

I’ve contacted the mortgage lender but can’t do interest only as my salary isn’t high enough

He just will not move out before he gets a job. He’s adamant. As he’s in full time education due to him changing his mind about his previous field of work he said I’ll have to support him until he finishes his course. As he’s failed exams this is now being pushed back by half a year. The stress of him digging his heels in is actually affecting me health wise. I want to do what’s right for our kids but there is never a concession from him. It’s his way or the highway.

"I don’t dare to move back in Milly. I feel he’d find a way to make this awful for our kids"

Well he will get what he wants then and he knows it. Go back, tell him to leave or contribute as you won't be paying for him any longer

"he said I’ll have to support him until he finishes his course"

Right. Well he's wrong, of course you don't have to pay for him

Can only send virtual moral support not the advice you need.
I hope you get a better lawyer. You don't have to fund his lifestyle. Start pushing back firmly. This is how you do the best for your dc.
Very best of luck CapitalB

Thank you for your kind words Willow! I‘m working on it. Will update the thread as I go along.

Move back in.

Just do it and take a mate to help you.

Or stop paying the mortgage and get a rental and say you cannot afford to pay for the house. Which is TRUE.

I admit to only really knowing what I have previously read on MN on this but being a student is his choice which i'm pretty sure he doesn't have the luxury of now.

How old are the DC? Most of the posts i've read regarding SAHM's divorcing who are in the house with Ex H living elsewhere would say a) depending on age of DC they now have to get a job and b) that they need to look at what benefits they can now claim in order to pay for living costs etc.

Isn't this just the same thing?