Struggling to get over divorce

[Cuteandfluffy]

My ex husband left me December 2017 for a lawyer. She completely interferred with the legal
side and the divorce finalised in September 2019.

I still feel bitter and I want to concentrate on my new life but the hatred I feel plagues me most of the time.

How do i start getting over this?

I'm sorry you went through and not much advice as I'm at the beginning of my journey so hopefully you get more replies. Have you tried counselling?

Yeah, they said they weren't there to offer advice, just to support. Not much use so I stopped.

What are you bitter about? The split? The terms of the split? Is there anything you can change now? It is very hard to focus on this and much easier to say but honestly the best revenge is to life your life well.

The bitterness affects you, not them. But it is hard to move on when you feel hard done by.

Terms I guess. We agreed property split amicably, then his new gf stuck her oar in and it dragged on 2 years.

I'm trying to love life but bitterness's ugly head keeps rising

What advice do you need?

Counselling to process your emotions about what happened won’t give you advice, that’s not what it’s for, but you do clearly need to find a way to live with where you are now so you don’t waste years consumed by your anger and bitterness. They don’t care, your anger only hurts you and it’s stopping you from having a full happy life.

If your divorced and financial settlement are done and dusted it’s unlikely you can change anything.

I’m sorry you’re hurting. You deserve a new start free of this resentment holding you back.

Well, your exh is massively at fault here. He hadn’t the balls to tell her to butt out. He sounds like such a weak man. You’ve had a lucky escape.
Don’t be bitter, be grateful you weren’t married to him any longer.

Having gone through similar over 8 years ago I sympathise. It really does take a long time to 'get used' to your situation. I don't use the term 'get over' as I don't think that happens with such a betrayal. It's like a bereavement where you just get used to the situation in time. I think the best thing to note is that 'shit just happens' to everyone in different ways. This feels bad as it's was done by someone who was supposed to love you.

I found being busy helped. Whilst work and family commitments can help - being actively involved in charity work has been the best policy for me. You can make a difference and in turn help yourself.