Hi, I wondered if anyone has had experience with this. I'm currently separated but living in same house as H. I was going ahead with divorce but put it on hold due to lockdown as I was very concerned that the situation could become volatile. I have now asked the solicitor to proceed again. Domestic violence has been an issue and he has a caution for assault 18 months ago and 15 years ago. It is/was a coercive and financially controlled marriage.
He could move out and chooses not to.
My problem id like advice with is the children. Three teens close to 16 and a 7 year old. He has been engaging in parental alienation and gaslighting. In a recent row I brought up his domestic violence and his reply was "ah Presstochamge, you know know you've been much more violent to me in this relationship ". I looked him in the eye and said liar. Gaslighter.
The trouble is he has managed to perfect the routine of poor me, she's shouting at me again, all you do is pick on me, you're nasty and belittle me. The children seem to believe it.
He comes across as very plausible but in reality is unstable, talks about suicide. I don't think he is fit to have the children and hope I can establish that. I have lots of screen shots and notes about his behaviour.
But if I can't establish that and two children want to live with him and two don't, is that splitting of siblings something a court would want to avoid.
I don't really know what evidence would be required to say he is mentally unstable. I would not ever think of denying him seeing the children. He is their father and the children deserve the right to have a relationship with him but he can barely remember to feed them at regular intervals during the day!
If you have any experience or advice could you please tell me more?