Am I Stuck?

[youvegottobekidding]

Married for nearly 17. Miserably definitely for the last 3,4 years. 2 kids, secondary school age.

He works full time, me part time, not much. Mortgage in his name only. The only contribution I make is the council tax every month and maybe bits and bobs.

I think we’d be happier if we separate. I know he wouldn’t leave as he’d say it’s his house. What rights, if any would I have if I could stay with the kids? To be honest I couldn’t afford the mortgage payments/bills on my own anyway.

No friends or family to help or go to. I feel stuck. It would mean me leaving with the children. Where I don’t know. Have no savings of my own either.

You would need to get a full time job. If you want to stay in the house you would need to get a mortgage in your name and be able to pay the bills. He would need to pay child maintenance (assuming you're not planning on 50:50).

I assume you did more of the child rearing that allowed him to work full time and therefore pay of the mortgage. Regardless of who is earning the money it was a joint effort. But for u sacrificing working full time to bring up the kids could he have built his career. Have no guilt in seeing the house as a martial home that belongs to both of u. Regardless of who is on the mortgage. U are married its the marrital home. Half is yours imo. Speak to a lawyer and look for full-time work would be my first steps. Dont speak from knowing the law. But just because u didn't directly contribute financially doesnt mean u didn't contribute.

You’re married, so the house is a marital asset regardless of whose name is on the mortgage.
Best thing you can do is speak to a solicitor.

If there's equity in the house, savings, pension, any things of value (eg cars) then this all goes into the pot to be split between you. You can start divorce and financial proceedings while still cohabiting, if he refuses to leave. It doesn't matter whose name anything is in. You've had a long marriage and that changes everything. It's probably going to be very hard going but that doesn't make it impossible.

You’ll need an interest put on the house so if he tries to sell it you have an interest

He can still kick you out and there’s nothing to stop the kids remaining in the home.

Why not sell and split the proceeds?

Half of the house is yours even if you're name is not on it if it was bought after you married.

Ask someone if there is any way you could afford it on your own. I know you work part time but you would get child benefit and maintenance for the children and this is sometimes taken in to account.

It’s not technically half hers

A friend is in this position he can get loans on the house because he doesn’t need her signature
She can’t get and help with council tax because it’s his house and she’s not a tenant
Likely the house will be repossessed
She can’t get rehoused because she has a house to live in
She can’t get insurance because she doesn’t own the house and she has no rental agreement
He won’t pay repairs on his house
He won’t pay council tax in his house
It’s a shit show

Be careful

The house is a marital asset and you’re entitled to a fair share of all assets. Could be more or less than 50%
With secondary aged children you’ll probably be expected to work full time and may not get spousal
You might be entitled to a mesher order or the house nay need to be sold.
It’s likely that to stay you’d need to take over the payments
However all of this is hypothetical and completely dependent on your own circumstances. There’s certainly no automatic right to remain in the house
See a solicitor who can advise on range on outcomes

Thank you all for your replies.

I don’t have the money to go to a solicitor, would the CAB be able to provide some info regarding my situation?

He’s become quite intolerable over the last few weeks and I’ve a feeling he will not make it easy and will use every trick he can to make it harder so we stay together as even though it’s clear we don’t like each other and he’ll use the ‘you’ll not survive on your own even with the kids’.

Yes I looked after them while he went to work.

I’m not bothered about staying in the house, yes it would be ideal as the kids are settled here but as long as I’ve got the kids and a roof over our heads & yes I’m prepared to work full time.

First thing to do: register an interest in the property so that he cannot sell it. Ask for a financial order as part of the divorce process. Even if you cannot afford to stay in the house you are entitled to your share of the equity which you can take and use to help build your new life away from him. He might say the house is his but the court won’t see it that way and he has to do what the court orders. Even if you had not worked at all and stayed home to raise the children you would still be entitled to your share of the equity.
If he has a pension ask for an equal share of that too as part of the financial order.

Sorry I should have said, we’ve only been in this house for 6 years, not the entirety of our marriage, so would I be right in saying there wouldn’t be much equity in it anyway? I don’t know much about this stuff. He’s being unbearable at the moment :( but I’m really trying to be the mature one and not bite back and keep things civil for the kids. I wish I could just take them & go somewhere.

Depends entirely on the loan to value when it was purchased and what house prices have done in those 6 years
Do you know what the outstanding mortgage is ?

As the above poster said how much equity you have in the house depends on loan to value. If you put down a big deposit or values have risen a lot in the past six years then you could have a lot of equity. Did you bring equity from your previous home or have a big deposit?

You can't afford not to get proper advice. You also need to get a handle on the finances and the situation with the house before you seek advice or the lawyer will not be able to help.

Get proper legal advice, lots of places will let you settle the bill out of the divorce settlement. Trust me, you can't afford not to!

Everything you both have is classed as a marital asset, regardless of who has what, and who has paid for what, and who's name is on what. Cars, houses, savings, mortgages, pensions, and of course debts. It all gets put in a pot and the starting position is 50/50.

Most solicitors do a free initial consultation, fees can be deferred until the house is sold