This is us, although our problems have been bubbling away for far too many years. H decided we needed counselling, after two sessions I had realised that we needed to not live together, and I move out next week, which sounds very sudden, but I think I'd been thinking about it subconsciously, as the decisions just made themselves.
Sadly H is a quite bemused as to what's happening (I think he thought that we'd go to counselling, he'd say "it makes me unhappy when you do x, x and x, and I'd rather you did y, y, and y instead", and I'd go "Oh ok, then" and it would all be resolved. And as RL isn't how stuff in his head is, that was never going to happen, as in order to get beyond the "x, x and x" we'd need to go through a lot of years of stuff, and his starting point was that we weren't going to discuss the past, we could only talk about how to move forward, although he now says he didn't actually mean that. Anyway....)
I was actually coming to a personal crunch point in any case (youngest DC off to uni this year, ending very many years of being the primary carer, so needed to decide what my life was going to look like), complicated by working for H (and needing to stay working for him due to other non-relevant reasons), and really disliking where we live and work. Would much rather have got DC off to uni, then starting discussing things, but there's always been a work-related "I'm too busy" reason to avoid starting the discussion, so here we are.
I'm weirdly happy about it, all the inlaws think I'm running away from my "responsibilities", H doesn't seem to think I can cope on my own, and I'm just excited about the future. Youngest DC is coming with me, so H will be here on his own, trying to figure out how the washing machine works (we moved into rented a couple of years ago, and he's been very reluctant to even try and pretend this was home, rather than somewhere he slept and had his dinner cooked for him and his socks washed etc).