Will try to make this brief, STBXH left after 17 years of marriage in 2017, so nearly 3 years of being separated. 2 Dcs, ex was abusive to me and kids always on eggshells, shouted at etc. End of last year DS13 decided does not want to see dad anymore but does speak occasionally by text(usually harrassing DS to go and visit him). DD15 still goes to see dad now and then. He works in an industry where he is away for weeks at a time/back for weeks at a time and earns 6 figures. I work part time, minimum wage and as DS has been diagnosed with ASD this year doubt that this will change, although i would like to start my own 9am-4pm business to earn more and make sure I'm about for kids after school day.
STBXH has paid a set amount each month since he left to cover rent and CM amount and has always said he would make sure roof over kid's heads, they have what they need etc. he's never had an issue paying this tbf to him.
Divorce not even started yet as trying to agree Minute of Agreement. I had asked for current amount he pays to be in place until DS is at least 18. This was agreed, then when draft of MOA came out last week, it was completely changed to say it would be looked at when DD reaches 19. Me and my sol have written to say this is not what was agreed previously. I appreciate that he may start being arsey after a year as my sol says a year after MOA signed he can try and change condition but it seems like he just wants to keep making our lives miserable and pulling the rug from under me. I appreciate he is probably paying more than CM will recommend but I have never asked him to up it, change it, moaned about it etc etc. He wanted to go off with gf and be happy.....he has done this and even paying what he is paying now, will still have plenty of cash to do what he wants to do (it never stopped him before either). It was already pointed out in initial correspondence that if he wants to lower amount he pays then kids will have to move to somewhere less desirable than they are now and so he agreed to keep amount he is paying the same.
It is just causing me hours of stress and anxiety, I just want it in place and secure and done and dusted. I am no contact with him except through sols and if he does email me I don't answer or it's a grey rock response.
My question is, if an MOA is not agreed, the divorce can't go ahead because there has to be something confirmed and in place for the kids, is that correct? So if I don't agree with the MOA, refuse it until it's amended to what was originally agreed upon, and refuse to go further with the divorce, would ex still be able to proceed with divorce without my signature etc etc?