Can ex share a bed with DC?

[Scaryprospects]

Hoping someone can help. My ex has informed me that he will be moving back to his parents house who only has one spare bedroom for him to stay. He is suggesting that our DC shares a bed for overnight stays with him 3-4 times a week.

I can’t seem to find any laws against this. But it just doesn’t seem right to me when DC has somewhere to stay with their own room. I would never stop him seeing them or staying overnight if the accommodation is suitable.

If you go to court with a SHL these would all be grounds for not having 50/50 with ex. So I would not engage with him and do it all through the lawyer.

It sounds to me like he is trying to worry you. If he loves his dd he will make sure she is safe. I'd simply say to him 'ok we will see how it goes'. About everything! Dont let him see you are scared or worried. And dont be. You will assess and re-assess as the time comes. I bet he will choose to get his own place. I understand it is terrifying but in my experience a loving father will do the right thing by their child and a selfish one will hardly see them as much as they said they would.

Oh and when the time comes. Go to court if need be. Its likely to go in your favour under those circs

This is not an actual situation just something he has threatened?

He is probably pushing your buttons and you are reacting. Deal with actuality not threats. But take advice on how to do this. Don’t show your concern or annoyance at him. Poker face all the way.

Remember the situation is just as untenable for him. It’s also potentially untenable for his parents if there is an at risk child living with them. SS aren’t just going to accept another adult and child moving in without checks and questions. Particularly a child with special needs.

If he brings it up again just acknowledge it and say that it will be a very complex situation because of th SS involvement. That you will take legal advice on how to ensure your child is safe and secure.

Speak to ss. They may be able to advise... Maybe inappropriate for the fostered dc to have your dc there...
In their eyes..

What is the issue with bed sharing? Lots of children still co sleep at that age

My 7 year old sleeps with me all the time so I'm struggling to see the problem. Obviously your child can't communicate whether she's happy but is there a reason you think she wouldnt be? Why not suggest an air bed on the floor as an option so dc can choose?

We went via court for contact arrangements.. Judge and Cafcass both said dc must have own bed and space for personal belongings tho not necessarily own bedroom.
Ds was 3....

I think the set uo at your in laws sounds far from ideal and would seek legal advice. Especially as he can afford his own place. Moving in an adult and child when someone is already on sofa is crazy. Sounds like in laws are struggling to see the wood for the trees.

In the meantime let your dc go, carefully record any issues or behaviour changes in your child and stop the visits if you have any concerns.