Child maintenance

[damnthisvirusandmarriage]

So, let me get this straight right.

Father of my children pays bare minimum set by government, and I have to pay everything else? Including childcare so that we can both work? Him significantly more than me?

Unless you negotiate a different amount, then unfortunately essentially yes.

.......yes.

Unless you ask for 50/50 and then you just pay for childcare and everything else in "your time"

Unless you have contact or maintenance included in divorce and then it can be different I think.

Yup that's it really.

The more he works and earns the more he pays (in theory) and the more he has the kids the less he pays

Here is an idea give him 50/50?

He’ll not be having them 50/50

He’ll not be having them at all unsupervised was he’s abusive and dangerous.

You got that right OP. Don’t forget that if he moves in with partner who has children living with her, the maintenance he pays for his own children is reduced.

Depending on earnings you may get UC help with your childcare costs.

I would advise everyone to go the UC calculator site and check their entitlements. I earn £37k with one child of 18 still technically in school.. but because my rent is high in a high cost area (S.E) I receive £220 a month. Only found out 6 months ago and could have claimed it for 3 years!

Childcare costs
Rent
How many dc
Disabilities

ALL make a difference. So you could be living next door to someone on a higher salary but be entitled when they aren't. Because your circumstances are different.

A calculation takes 10 minutes of your time and could save you £100s ..

Sounds like my ex! Apparently it's an unusual benefit that him or his partner has that means he can earn what he wants and pay me the minimum as if he were on benefits.

Cms wont tell me what it is though! Stupid seeing as both my kids to him get enhanced rate benefits!

Hang on - why does the father pay less if he moves in with a woman who has children even if those children are not his? How does that work?
What if the mother has a boyfriend move in - does that affect the CM payments owed to her from the father?

CanWeComeIntoTheOutNow If the mother’s boyfriend moves, in her CM payments are unchanged.
It is madness but a nonresident parent pays less for his or her own child if the partner he or she lives with has children. It’s clearly laid out on the CMS website.

I get zero cm because exh is unemployed. Even though he walked away with 60k savings because he lived off me all through our marriage.

I have had no child support for 2 years. Ex is self employed and drops in and out of jobs. And also get £13k pension a year.

CMS are rubbish.

Brilliant. OW has two kids so when they actually move in together hell give me even less than the bare minimum he's currently getting away with. Fabulous. Ffs. Cheating shyster bastard men.

CanWeComeIntoTheOutNow It’s a deeply unfair system. It does seem to benefit absent parents to the detriment of their own children.

I’ve just been on phone to UC. The minimum floor means that I’ll have to earn that or have less UC. I can barely afford childcare as it is as have to pay upfront. If I don’t earn the minimum floor I’ll be on my arse. It is deeply unfair. Whilst me abusive ex Earns £50k a year and has no childcare to pay.

How on Earth is all this allowed to happen. I know I’m not the only one and what I’m going through I’ve heard so many women complain of the same. It’s absolutely awful, sexist and unfair. There is no male female equality at all in the UK is there 😔