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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Money dispute

18 replies

sooooo34 · 06/07/2020 17:47

Ex and I bought house in 2005. Ex put in £15k deposit. Had doc drawn up by solicitor to say deposit was put in by him. Married in 2009 so doc void due to marriage. I put in £3-4K towards home furnishings etc upon moving in.
When ex made redundant in 2012 I gave him £3k to set up own business.
Ex left me in 2014, I stayed in house with DS. I work pt so we agreed to pay half mortgage each so he still had investment. He Also paid above what child maintenance calculator should be, but not excessively.
Between ex moving out in 2014 and end of 2019 I spent approx £8k on home maintenance and improvements. So add up all I've put in over the years id say it matches the £15k deposit he put in.
Moving forward to end of 2019 and I am in a position to buy him out. Had valuations done and he insisted he was due half of the £80k equity. He refused to get legal advice but i did and was told half was too generous. But to avoid conflict I gave in and transferred £35k and verbally agreed to pay £2.5k at a later date when I could afford to.
In the meantime a major roof issue and damp issue comes to light which I wasn't aware of when agreeing a figure. This is not new damage and I'm kicking myself for not having a survey done when agreeing to give him half the equity (solicitor didn't advise me to?) as this is going to cost me £3-4K to fix so would have meant his equity figure would be less.
I have asked if he is willing to call it quits at £35k but he is not agreeing that this is fair even though it means he will have ended up with more than half his share of equity. In fact he believes he should be receiving £40k because of the original £15k he put into the house and refuses to acknowledge I have matched this over the years. He says I am deceitful and have lied through my teeth about things which I haven't at all. He has not paid me any CM since March. He is self employed so wasn't working for 2 months but he has been back working since May, had the government bailout and also the £35k in his bank. He is refusing to pay anymore CM until my "debt" of £2.5k is paid off. Where do I stand in all of this? Have I been unreasonable? I genuinely am not someone trying to screw someone over, I thought I'd been very fair over the years but he is now dragging my name through the mud and painting a very bad picture of me. He is also extremely angry because when I first said I was buying him out I was going to rent the property and move in with my DP. However when the roof and damp issues arose I decided I want to sell instead as it put me off being a landlord of such an old property. He thinks I've been deceitful about this but I don't see what it has to do with him if I buy or rent as he would have got the same amount of equity?

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 06/07/2020 18:16

If you’re in England and have residency if your child and work part time you’re likely to be awarded higher than 50%
Call his bluff and tell him you’re seeking 80% as part of the divorce settlement

sooooo34 · 06/07/2020 19:21

Yes in England. Unfortunately we divorced before settling the financial stuff as I naively believed we could do this at a later date amicably and fairly without any extra assistance from solicitors. How wrong was I!

OP posts:
sooooo34 · 06/07/2020 20:45

Bumping Smile

OP posts:
sooooo34 · 06/07/2020 20:45

Bumping Smile

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millymollymoomoo · 06/07/2020 20:56

Yes but you haven’t agreed finances so you can still seek higher share ..... until you have a final consent order

sooooo34 · 06/07/2020 21:38

We do have the final consent order done saying I was to pay £35k which I've done. The extra £2.5k was a verbal agreement made before I realised what work was to be done on the roof and damp wall. I said I would give him that when I could afford to. But now I know about the work that needs doing which should have been taken into account I don't think it's fair I pay that plus foot the repair bill myself as it would mean I get less than half the equity. But he doesn't see that which is why he's stopped CM to cover the £2.5k he believes is rightfully his

OP posts:
sooooo34 · 06/07/2020 21:39

Sorry, I'm probably not being very clear!

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sooooo34 · 06/07/2020 22:04

Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

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7yo7yo · 06/07/2020 22:07

So don’t pay him £2.5k and go through CMS.

sooooo34 · 06/07/2020 22:18

That's what I'm planning on doing, but I just want views on whether I've been fair or not with the money so far.

Also, because he's self employed does it make claiming through CMS harder? Will I get back the money he has refused to pay?

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Truimph · 07/07/2020 10:21

NAL

As 7yo7yo said, seems like your best option is to go through CMS.

Maintenance payments are unrelated to the dispute you have over the house, so don't let him use that as armour. Get that sorted ASAP as it will take several weeks to set up. CMS will establish an amount based on the earnings he declares to HMRC (which may or may not reflect his true income). I think there are aways to challenges it, but it's not easy. If he's not currently paying you anything, then you've got nothing to lose?

The £2.5k is a separate issue. You have a Consent Order so neither of you much legal scope to argue against it. Personally, I don't think you can use the roof issue as an argument, it's just very unfortunate timing. It is a necessary expense of home ownership and he is no longer the owner by the sounds of it.

What strikes me is the wording 'when you can afford to do so' are you sure this is the exact wording in the Consent Order? Just say you can't afford to at the moment. If you do have excessive cash in the bank and you feel he will challenge you on this, then can't you just overpay the mortgage? Or set it aside for other necessary expenses such as the roof repair.

Truimph · 07/07/2020 10:27

And just to reiterate Maintenance payments provide food for your children and help provide a roof over their head (literally in this case) so that should be the priority.

If you make an application today, they will back date what he owes from today's date, but you won't be able to recover the lack of payments between March and now.

7yo7yo · 07/07/2020 13:06

Stop trying to be fair.
He equates fair as weak and will take every penny he can from you.
Maintenance is to support the living of his children it is not a gift to you. He is not doing you a favour paying you maintenance, he is doing what he is supposed to.

sooooo34 · 07/07/2020 19:24

Sorry that wasn't the wording on the consent order. The consent order covered £35k which he has had from me. The pay me when you can afford to was a verbal agreement between ourselves regarding the further £2.5k I was going to pay before the roof and damp issues were discussed. Both my solicitor and financial advisor agreed that £35k was too generous but I did to keep things civil.

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sooooo34 · 07/07/2020 19:25

Sorry that wasn't the wording on the consent order. The consent order covered £35k which he has had from me. The pay me when you can afford to was a verbal agreement between ourselves regarding the further £2.5k I was going to pay before the roof and damp issues were discussed. Both my solicitor and financial advisor agreed that £35k was too generous but I did to keep things civil.

OP posts:
dontdisturbmenow · 08/07/2020 08:46

But now I know about the work that needs doing which should have been taken into account I don't think it's fair I pay that plus foot the repair bill myself as it would mean I get less than half the equity
It all comes down to the valuation. Who did it? How did you come to the conclusion that there was £80k equity?

Ultimately, the citation would have done on the basis of the state of the house then. The fact it needed work done would have been taken into account.

As you say the problem comes from the fact you didn't have a survey done then. Did you get an estate agent valuation?

Also if the agreement was that there was £80k equity, why did the court only grant £35k?

Finally, of ultimately he's going to reduce maintenance during that time, which legally it sounds like he could anyway, there isn't much you can do.

slipperywhensparticus · 08/07/2020 08:51

Remind him maintenance is for the child nit for you and its his legal obligation to pay

How far behind is he? If its close on the 2.5k I would say he had now had it and he needs to continue to pay child support

im5050 · 08/07/2020 14:21

If he’s self employed and a an obstructive prick which he sounds like I would be preparing to get very little or no child support

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