Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Can anyone help me understand Joint Custody?

2 replies

Anonanonon · 05/07/2020 18:46

Hi - I'm a divorced dad, currently have kids 40% of the time. I have my own house, with a fully furnished bedroom for the kids. I buy them clothes, shoes, take them for haircuts, etc. I homeschool them two days a week. I also tend to be the one who sorts things out with the school. Basically, I'm very involved with their lives and not just a "Disney Dad".

My ex-wife and I came to this arrangement amicably. We live ten minutes from each other and - up until now - everything has been fine. As such, I never felt a need to put our custodial arrangements through the courts. I just assumed that I, essentially, had joint custody.

Recently, however, my ex has been making noises that she would like to continue homeschooling the kids indefinitely - essentially take them out of school altogether and teach them herself. FWIW the kids are both primary school age and she isn't a qualified teacher. She claims the kids haven't missed school so will be fine.

I've told her, politely, I disagree - rgardless of anything else, I think it would be better for the boys to stay where they are, especially as there isn't any major issues. Neither are being bullied or have special learning needs.

So far she seems to be happy "considering" things until the next school year. I'd like to think she wouldn't take them out of school without my agreement, however when I researched the matter I discovered she might be able to do so without my permission regardless. This is because I didn't officially apply for joint custody through the courts, so - despite the reality of arrangements - the kids are considered to be living with mum and her managing their needs with myself simply having visiting rights. It was never suggested that I should do - and apparantly joint custody is still considered a rarity in the UK.

Have I got this correct? If so, is it too late to apply for joint custody? How do I go about it?

Thanks in advance for any help!

OP posts:
HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 05/07/2020 18:53

It has been a few years since I went through the court process so I might be out of dateand I am by no means an expert.

I don't think the UK has 'joint custody' as a term, I think its American we have residency.

If you have parental responsibility you are able to challenge any changes to their education. Courts like to keep the status quo unless there are any reasons not to and as you say there are no SEN or bullying issues, therefore if your ex deregistes the children from school you will need to act quickly before a new status quo is developed.

PicsInRed · 05/07/2020 19:48

As you were married when they were born, you each already have Parental Repsonsibilty, which gives you equal input re: issues such as schooling.

I would seek the advice of a solicitor, but I would first obtain a prohibited steps order preventing her from deregistering the children from school. You may then need a specific issue order mandating that the children attend school and which school they attend - but I would get legal advice on this.

You can do the prohibited steps yourself under urgency, for a £200 application fee.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page