Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Pending Separation and Feeling Mentally Drained

7 replies

Mummykins54 · 05/07/2020 17:39

Hi

I have already 'posted that myself and husband have agreed to separate. I have seen a lawyer and he told me to ask my husband for his lawyers details so he could write to him. Husband refused and asked for my lawyers name and he said he would write to mine. I refused as he is very controlling and feel this is a delaying tactic.
I asked him 2 nights ago if he had a lawyer yet and his reply was no - you will be the first to know.

We have two teenagers aged 16 and 19 who just want this to be over as he is not talking to me or my son. The atmosphere in the house is awful and he still wont give me a name.

I was doing ok but I am now feeling mentally and physically drained at his behaviour. He has always been a control freak and my friends reckon that he is raging I have taken the first step. Its like dealing with a child.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Is it normal to feel drained and exhausted? I just want this over asap for all our sakes

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
3gingerboys · 08/07/2020 22:49

Hi Mummykins54 it certainly sounds like he's trying to control things! If he won't appoint a solicitor I would ask your solicitor to write to him directly and that might spur him into action. Have you got a plan in place for what you would like to happen? Are you wanting to stay in the house and start divorce proceedings?

I feel your pain, my STBX and I are still living together after 18 months as he has refused to move out or engage with the process. I have decree nisi now and he's said he will agree a consent order and has found a house to buy, but he changes his mind daily! Sending you 💐 and wishing you luck x

Original poster
Mummykins54 · 09/07/2020 16:19

Thanks for your reply 3gingerboys.

He has always been controlling. I have spoken to my lawyer and he says he will write to him directly if he doesnt supply a lawyer.

Ideally I want to sell the house - there is on £12k left on the mortgage. I was a SAMH for many years so pension not too good but he has a great pension - married 23 years and I am entitled to half.

I think he can't believe that I have taken the initiative as hes losing control so goodness knows what he will be like if he receives a letter.

But I have had enough. I don't want my kids living in this atmosphere anymore. I just want my own space and peace.

Separation was mutually agreed so I don 't see the problem.

Again thanks for your reply

OP posts:
leafeater · 30/07/2020 17:53

How is it going now, @Mummykins54?

Have you managed to get him to appoint a solicitor or has yours moved it on a bit?

Original poster
Mummykins54 · 02/08/2020 13:50

@leafeater Thanks for your message. No thing are still the same as the last lawyers letter got delivered to the wrong address and was literally handed to me on Friday so my lawyer is sending out a new one.

We are not talking at all - just good morning - its a horrendous atmosphere and hes living like a single man. Away golfing all the time at night etc.

We have known each other for 27 years so to me its so immature especiallyK with a 19 year old recovering drug addict son at home and a 17 year old daughter who has been traumatised by living with an addict and the fall out it has caused.

I just want my own life.

OP posts:
leafeater · 02/08/2020 17:17

I bet you do.

Hopefully once the lawyers get sorted, they can push for some resolution...

FairiesWillFly · 03/08/2020 07:24

Just get your solicitor to file for divorce and he will get the papers served to him directly. He will then need to sort himself a solicitor or not as he has a deadline to reply....some people self represent. If you are sure you want a divorce just do it and stop worrying about what he's doing he's not your friend now.

Millshake01 · 04/08/2020 14:52

@Mummykins54

Hi

I have already 'posted that myself and husband have agreed to separate. I have seen a lawyer and he told me to ask my husband for his lawyers details so he could write to him. Husband refused and asked for my lawyers name and he said he would write to mine. I refused as he is very controlling and feel this is a delaying tactic.
I asked him 2 nights ago if he had a lawyer yet and his reply was no - you will be the first to know.

We have two teenagers aged 16 and 19 who just want this to be over as he is not talking to me or my son. The atmosphere in the house is awful and he still wont give me a name.

I was doing ok but I am now feeling mentally and physically drained at his behaviour. He has always been a control freak and my friends reckon that he is raging I have taken the first step. Its like dealing with a child.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Is it normal to feel drained and exhausted? I just want this over asap for all our sakes

Thanks for reading

How's it going? I've made an appointment with UC. So no going back now. Just need to get the courage to tell him, Again to please leave!
New posts on this thread. Refresh page