When will it end!!!! Ex won't let me buy him out and won't leave

[3gingerboys]

Such a horrible situation and feel for anyone going through the same 💔 marriage broke down due to emotional abuse, lies and gaslighting but he refuses to transfer house for half the equity (only other assets tiny pension each and a car of same value), 3 children and just want to keep as much stability as possible. Been hanging on for 18 months as he changes mind constantly and I've been hoping he'll just agree but it's massively affecting my mental health. Gutted as we have lovely 4 bed house extended to allow the kids to live here as long as they need and for what it will sell for I'll only get another house which is considerably smaller. Have booked mediation as last ditch attempt to get him to see sense, if we sell the equity will have to be split much more in my favour to allow me to buy suitable house. Just don't think I can do another year while it goes through the courts, heart is breaking again . Looks like I lose twice, husband who is not what he pretended to be and lose stability for kids. I hate him

Why would he agree to that?

Why would he agree to 50% equity, no claim on his pension and no maintenance? Really?

What a massive pain in the arse. You'll probably have to go legal and force his hand. At least that way you will know where you stand and be able to start rebuilding your life with whatever the settlement turns out to be.

With the alternative being we all have to move and he gets less equity (the courts would not award him 50%, more like 35-40 %) trying to be fair, especially when he's behaved abysmally and lied for 20 years because he was hiding something he was ashamed of and thought more of protecting himself than being honest with me 🙄

Do you mean no spousal maintenance or no child support? He has to pay the latter. Even if you said he didn’t you could go to the CSA at any point you changed your mind.

Are you married and if so have you started divorce proceedings?

If you go to court to force sale why don't you then buy it?

Yes I have decree nisi, have got a mortgage in place to take over current mortgage plus pay 50% equity to him. I know he would struggle to pay maintenance and I would get universal credit on top of salary so was not wanting him to pay voluntary maintenance (unless his income increased with new partner or better job which is unlikely). Can't be any fairer but he just says it's his house too and he's not leaving. Yes I can see some people would say why should he but if he doesn't move out we all do, he can't afford to buy me out. I just wanted to keep the kids in their home ☹️

Nice idea @RandomMess! If I went to court I am 100% confident the courts would order that it be transferred to me and I would have to pay less equity, but I know he won't cooperate with financial disclosure or get a solicitor. I've booked for mediation next week and if he refuses I can issue at court but I already feel so tired

I will start wishing that he does something "bad" enough that you need to call the police...

selfish wanker can't think why you are divorcing!

He doesn't get to choose whether to cooperate with financial disclosure, the solicitor will know what to do to get all info needed.
Just take it to a solicitor and save yourself the pain of going through this. He's being a knob he can't just refuse.

Yes @RandomMess, he's a selfish, arrogant, cowardly tosser, and he wonders why I won't give in and forgive everything 😆

@Sicario I think you're right, been putting it off but I've got to bite the bullet now. He's such an idiot he's going to lose out big style!

Thanks @FedUpAtHomeTroels, yep total knob!

If it helps my friends ex refused to submit a form e.

The bollocking he got from the judge was very amusing for her to watch. She’d spent ages getting al over financial information together and had handed here in to the court and to her ex.

He thought if he ignored it he wouldn’t have to give her, her portion of the financial settlement. He was wrong.

Put it through the courts, I helped my friend fill in her form e as I’d had mine done by a solicitor and her finances were straight forward.

Thanks @frazzledasarock, our finances should be pretty straightforward, will start to gather information. To be honest I think I can probably get everything together that the courts will need x