Trying to fight my narcissist ex

[happyonmyown1000]

Hi op's

Three years after separating from my ex, who is a narcissist/psychopath. I am still trying to fight to get what's mine. Meanwhile he's living in the family home with his new girlfriend playing happy families with my dd (he didn't give a crap about our dd before the new girlfriend) and with no money worries whatsoever. I however find myself scrimping and saving to pay the rent on a flat and manage bills, food etc. I work full time (I know I'm lucky to have a job at the moment) but all of my income goes towards living costs.
Now that my ex has a new girlfriend who enjoys having my daughter there with her and my ex, they have decided that they would like to have her more of the time. So now he has my daughter and my money (tied up in the house).
I can't afford a solicitor and mediation won't cut it with him. He's an expert in deceit and manipulation.
Can anyone offer advice on how people like me can raise funds to afford a solicitor in order to fight for what is rightfully there's?

I will be making for absolute sure that my DD does not end up in a relationship with a narcissist. I can definitely give her that gift.

I'm so sorry. Contact the rights of women helpline, they can offer free legal advice, and are open from 10am-2pm today. All the best

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

Have you called and asked if any solicitors do a free initial consultation? My friend had one recently, spent over an hour with the solicitor and no charge at all, it was incredibly useful. He did tell my friend about special loans for divorcing, where you pay it back at the end, when you get your payout. Definitely call around and see if you can find one that does a free consultation. Good luck, it sounds dreadful.

Thank you so much op's. I'll look at the link to rights for women's and loans for legal fees. I have had a consultation with a solicitor but she told me what the estimated cost for the divorce could be and it just made me realise that I haven't got a chance of fighting him.

As a separate issue - does anyone have any advice on how to cope when your DD loves spending time with your ex's girlfriend because it's fun and exciting, but gets down when it's time to return to me because it's just normal life with me.

Oh god, I completely understand where you are coming from. I left my narcissistic husband a year and a half ago and felt like I had to move out of the family home. We’ve been to court numerous times and I’ve had financial help from my family, but lately he’s been alienating the kids against me so I had to take him to court and represent myself against his barrister. The judge was extremely accommodating to this situation and I spoke open and honestly. My solicitor told me what forms to fill out but instead of paying out a couple of grand, it cost me the application fee of £200. We have to go back to mediation but the mediator doesn’t think it’s for us and that is £164 (each) a session. It’s a joke. He’s also made up loads of lies about me to cafcass, trying to portray me as an unfit mother.

Have a think about representing yourself, I think more and more women are doing it now because of the lack of money. My friend did it and she helped me. Also, use every support service you can from GP to councillor to school. It’s good to ask for help and get free advise wherever you can. X

Represent yourself

How old is your daughter? Might be time for fun with mum rather than drudgery does he have her during school time or just at weekends

Also, consider a Mackenzie Friend, they will help you fill out forms, send in right direction. Mine cost £1500 over 18 mo ( had solicitors at first) and mine included three hearings as well as prep for trial, at which point myex surrendered.

Thank you so much OP's for you help and advice. I had never thought of representing myself . I'll look into that and the Mackenzie friend assistance. Thank you 🙏 xx