My STBX, hasn’t told his family what actually happened. They think we split up fairly amicably, they don’t know that he is gay; they don’t know that he hid money for years in preparation for leaving. He did wait until the kids were almost 18, but when I found out the extent of the money he had hidden, it represented a huge betrayal. He had been smiling in my face was peeing in my pocket for many years. This money has been impossible to prove went missing as part of the divorce, as it has literally disappeared now. My solicitor has also said I would need huge assets in order to find and trace this money, beyond the value of even the monies they could realistically clawback.
His family have no idea. I know that they would be horrified. I don’t even know that he is gay, but I don’t feel able to tell them. My sister-in-law has contacted me a few times since we split / moved out of the family home six months ago. I’m pretty sure she won’t want to hear the real events, itd be too painful/inconceivable/unbelievable! and I don’t feel I can have a friendship with someone who doesn’t know the real situation.
We could try to skirt around the issue of my ex/her brother, and be friends outside of this. But I know If she mentions something about our “mutual separation “ I would find it very difficult to not to say something. And if I stay friends with her then presumably I’ll be in touch with his other siblings, one of whom is really loud and opinionated and would definitely go on about how ‘brilliantly’ I did in the divorce (we went 50-50) etc without realising that he had well over £100,000 And his slush fund. His family all think he is the shining paragon of virtue and honesty.
I actually don’t know what to do. I know for me honesty in friendship is vital, but just cutting these people out of my life forever feels very severe as I don’t have don’t have family of my own. Sensible, helpful advice gratefully received, thanks in advance.