Custody, Immigration Status & Finances

[Rainbowdropz]

I've got the ball rolling and I have the hearing for my Decree Nissi this month. I wanted some advice please. A bit about my STBXH: He's on a spousal visa, been in the country for a decade. Before covid-19 he typically works away from home 3-4 days a week. I do everything in terms of childcare and spending time with our DC (this includes weekends, as he's rather be out with his mates) Originally, my STBXH had stated he wanted 100% custody which I told him I wouldn't accept. I want to know how likely is it that he'll get 100% custody if it went to court? Do they take into account his immigration status? He was also convicted of drink driving for 12 months, does that help in anyway regarding proving his bad character? I just want some advice, as he has been useless during lockdown, barely spent time with our DC. Not helped with homeschooling, nothing.

Also in regards to financial settlement he wants to keep the house, but hes offering to give me equity from the house to get my own place, is that the norm if someone is buying you out or do you usually get half the value of the house and half the equity? As I think he's trying to short change me.

I appreciate your help and time x

Equity is the value of the house after deduction of any mortgage.

You might hope to get half of this.

No idea what a court will decide.

Why has he not applied for ILR or citizenship this whole time? I suggest you get a solicitor, as his immigration status is a bit of a headache. I read immigration boards and have read that if people get divorced and one person is on a spouse visa, the Home Office is to be notified that the marriage has broken down. The person on the visa then can (will?) have their visa curtailed. So this will need to be dealt with I assume, unless there's some concession whereby after 10 years you automatically can stay in UK? Not sure about all that. I wouldn't mention it to him just yet, let him sort of his own stuff out immigration-wise. But see a solicitor, as this sounds like a case with special stuff going on.

Good luck.

@cabbageking so are you more likely to get a greater pay out if you sell the house or is it safer to only get the equity, if the other person insists on staying?

@LittleHelpFromMySplitEnds he was due to apply for ILR but due to the driving conviction, he extended the spousal visa - as he knew that his application could get rejected. I have a solicitor bus shes family law based and not so much immigration. I wanted to know if anyone had a similar situation and how that plays into the whole matter.

If he wants to buy you out, you get a valuation and still deduct the outstanding mortgage.
He needs to be able to afford to pay the new mortgage and the mortgage provider has to agree to remove you from the mortgage.
You will get the same amount whether you sell the house or he buys you out.

House sale 200k - mortgage & costs £120k = 80k equity divide by 2= 40k or
He buys you out for 40k and keeps house and pays mortgage

A mortgage is a debt.

I would say it's highly unlikely he'd get sole custody, why would he? Aren't you the primary caregiver?

Where are you both living since you filed for divorce? More fair would be you remain primary caregiver with shared custody, you stay in the house with the kids if possible and he continues to contribute towards supporting the children. Does he think you will leave with just some equity from the house and nothing else??

I am expecting decree nisi this week, my STBXH is on a spouse visa and very unfortunately because of Covid and less Home Office staff working, he hasn't had his visa curtailed yet. I find immigration legal advice quite hard to come by and what role it plays in divorce. Fortunately for me, he plans to go back to his home country.

@DontBeBlueBeARainbow I got my decree Nisi today.We are currently both in the same house, but staying in seperate room and doing things seperately etc. How long ago did you inform the home office that you were seperated? His expectation is for me to leave with equity, as he wants to remain in the house. It's been a difficult situation.

I reported our separation 2nd week of May and he still hasn't received anything in the post, although I got an acknowledgement email the next day.

Just because he expects you to leave with just equity, it doesn't mean it's fair, right or realistic for him to think that. Are there cultural expectations at play here? Where's he from? Is this a controlling relationship?

Has he considered how you will support yourself and the children with just some equity? You are going to keep the children with you?