Changing surname back

[Yourteaisgettingcold]

Hello

I'm looking for opinions on changing my surname back to my maiden name after my divorce as I cant decide what I want to do and thought some different opinions might help me think and decide.

I have no sentimental attachment to my stb exh's surname other than that my son has this surname. I am considering double barreling my surname to have my maiden and married name so I somewhat have the same surname as my son. I know a name doesnt really matter but I feel quite strongly I want the same name as my child.

Either this or stick with my married name.

What would you do or what did you do?

How long have you had yours ex's surname for?

I couldn’t be arsed. I didn’t feel defined by “his”name, so it didn’t bother me.

If you want the same name as your child then keep your name. It's simple.

I changed mine the day he moved out.

The name meant nothing to me, I just didn't want a different surname to my DD so I have kept it.

I kept the same surname as my children and now share it with grandchildren. Unless you're unable to think of him without chucking up then I'd keep it.

I cant understand for the life of me why a woman would want to keep her ex husbands name, your divorced, revert back to you! I find it weird you're only considering it.

If you are going back to your birth name it's really easy and you don't need a deed poll, just you birth and divorce certificates. The only issue I had was when people on the phone treated me as someone who was changing my name rather than someone going back to my birth name. Should I remarry I won't change my name again. Bear in mind that you can choose to be called anything you like in the UK although it won't be your legal name as such for your passport, tax records, etc.

I cant understand for the life of me why a woman would want to keep her ex husbands name, your divorced, revert back to you! I find it weird you're only considering it.
We've explained why.

I changed back to my maiden name after we separated. For me it was part of reclaiming my old self.

Even now, three years later when I see my name it just feels amazing!

I'd feel it was more important to have the same surname as my DC than to have my maiden name back.

Personally, I kind of pre-empted this situation by giving dd1 my maiden name surname, as DH & I weren't married when she was born. I knew that if we didn't end up staying together I wanted DD to legally have the same name as me. But from almost the start, & certainly once she started nursery/school, we used both our names as a double-barrelled surname for her.

We did stay together, had dd2 who was given the double-barrelled name we were using for dd1, & got married a few years after dd2 was born.

After marriage we were able to officially change dd1's surname to the double-barrelled name & get a new birth certificate with that name on it.

We now all go by the same surname, even DH, so if we did ever separate I would have both my maiden name in my surname but also the same name as dc.

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to youd had an awful lot going on and needed time away from the digital world.

Thanks for all your input. I've had my married name 6 years.

I find it weird you're only considering it - I personally dont find it weird that I'd want to have the same surname as my child but each to their own and I did ask for varied opinions.

I'm currently think to double barrel my surname so I have my maiden name-married name so there is still a link to my child. Now this is where I'm not sure if I'm being silly and if I should just stick to my married name.

That's a good idea - you can be known by just you own birth name in many settings and use the double barrelled name with your child's school and on official documents, at the doctor's, etc.

For a variety of reasons I didn't change mine after we separated then divorced.

For the record with hindsight, age and maturity I wish I hadn't changed it on marriage, but I did and reverting wouldn't "wipe that out", it would be changing it again.

When I remarried I didn't change my name again, and if I ever remarry again (widowed) I wouldn't change my name.

This is nothing to do with my 1st H, it's about it being my name and no longer wanting to change my name.

Change your name back to your maiden name without double-barrelling. At the same time double-barrel your child's surname to include both names? That would be what I would consider doing.

I haven't because I think it would upset my children not to have the same name as me. They would also be a bit of a mouthful to double barrel.

Maybe when they are older I will consider it.

At the same time double-barrel your child's surname to include both names?

I wish I could but there is no way my child's father will allow me to change his name.

Hi op

I kept my married name to have the same surname as the DCs. As someone else has said, it doesn't define me and I feel no more link to him than if I had changed back.

Christian names are very personal - I don't really see surnames as anything more than something that is used in more official/ form filling situations. No emotional connection to it. I go on holiday with a friend who has a different surname to her DC and age regularly gets stopped and asked for letters and ID whereas I don't.

I would have just switched back if I hadn't had DC though.