To think ex is wrong

[Hellanot]

Ex is a bully, used to bullying people to get his own way. We had a child agreement in place, no legal bearing and no court order. But a fixed agreement in writing. Ex lives abroad so I have DC mostly in term time and ex in the holidays. From the start of lockdown ex has been in UK living near to us. He suggested dividing child care 50/50 due to coronavirus which I agreed. Obviously, coronavirus has lasted a lot longer than expected and ex has been seeing DC much more than on previous schedule. I assumed because of this we would also divide summer holidays equally. No. Ex has stated that he should still get the majority of summer holidays (5 weeks) with DC. He is saying we have a (previously) agreed schedule that we need to stick to! I am saying we haven't stuck to it because we've been seeing DC equally for the past 3 months. We could go round in circles for ever. What is fair here?

Thanks @RandomMess it's only me he bombards with messages. He is not a typical bully that people see but skilled in manipulation/control, always pretending to be the nice guy and trying to pursuade people into doing things what he wants, while acting like it's in their benefit.

The children are too young to see if he is bullying them but I have seen/heard things he has said to them to persuade them to do things which they have already said no to. He's a control freak and it's nearly impossible coparenting with someone like this.

Wow @CleanandJerk what a nightmare. How much did court cost? Was it a lot of stress? How are things with your ex now? Do you have much direct contact with him?

Thanks @GemmeFatale yes, I've been answering texts/emails constantly and if I don't reply he'll follow up with more messages/calls, demand change of schedule or some other thing, say I'm denying him access, threaten me with court etc. Fed up with it all. I've stopped replying to anything crucial. We did have a fixed schedule but the problem is with lockdown. He now lives very close by to see the children. Meant to be temporary but lockdown has lasted forever so he has seen the children much
more than planned. Good for them but not for me due to excess communication. He has x days left and that's what I have said to him. He can't have DC for the majority of summer hols any longer. He replied with a whole load of things about me being unreasonable, that I can't change his holiday plans and that I've gone crazy etc!

I will only respond if absolutely necessary now but does anyone have any tips on ignoring/blanking out this type of behaviour when someone is verbally abusive. It's gone on for a long time now, gets me down and I need a new way of coping. I do often ignore but get angry with all the false and negative things he says. Thank you.